Thursday, December 30, 2010

Cory

Those four little letters just don't seem to be enough to express how deep my feelings are for this man.  I love him more than I think words could ever express.  He understands me in a way that I thought no one else ever could.  He gets my twisted, a little off, sense of humor.  He laughs at my stupid jokes.  He appreciates all my little quirks and mannerisms.  He hugs me in a way that makes the rest of the world disappear.  He looks at me with passion that lets me know he still loves me.  He is sensitive, kind, caring, open, honest, loving, and a thousand more things I can't put in to words.  And, most importantly, he lets me love him back.  Sure, we get on each others nerves.  What married couple doesn't?  But there is no one I would rather work things out with than this man I get to be married to.

Cory's birthday this year is in the midst of the crazy week between Christmas and New Years when we have his kids and parents here staying with us.  We celebrated by playing around with his kids all day, and having store bought cheesecake for dessert after dinner.  Not too much of a celebration, but regardless of the outward celebration, there was a lot of inward stuff going on inside me.  My mom used to always tell us on our birthday "I'm glad you were born", and looking at him I can understand exactly what she was feeling.  I am very glad Cory was born.  Not only that he is alive now and that by some miracle our paths finally crossed, but that he was born to the parents he was and lived the life that he lived to make him the person he is today.  I couldn't imagine my life without him, and I'm so glad I get to call him "mine."

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas to all...

So, I'm sitting here in my bed reveling in the aftermath of quite the holiday tantrum.  I've never really been much of a "holiday spirit". I have a real issue with holidays, and all the stress and stuff that comes with them.  Add that to the fact that I spent the last two days in the car, and can't be my typical "anti-social" self that comes with the holidays, because we are entertaining Cory's kids and his parents.  For NINE whole days.  I love family, but when mama's gonna throw a fit, it's going to happen regardless of whether or not people are here.  I was hoping we could at least make it to our one year anniversary before they saw the true gem of a daughter-in-law they've been blessed with. 

The holidays started simply enough.  Cory and I were lucky enough to arrange our schedules to be able to have the last two weeks of the year off, and only have to take five days of PTO.  It's Cory's year for Christmas with his kids, so we made plans to have them here with us.  This is where life got a little complicated.  We don't exactly have the money to drop for 4 round trip tickets to California and back, so we decided to drive to California to pick up the kids.  Cory's parents came down a few days early to stay with Phillip (as Lexie and Mae Mae were still in Michigan) and we headed out on the LONG drive to CA.  We did the best planning we could.  Cory mapped it out every which way, and after talking to a few people we decided the best plan was going over Donner's pass. 

We headed out the morning of the 23rd (and when I say morning I mean MORNING!!  Cory had been up since three and was nice enough to let me sleep in until 5:30) and the majority of the drive wasn't that bad.  We made it to Reno in about seven hours, and all the maps said Placerville shouldn't be "that far" beyond Reno.  We learned it's "not far" if you are a native Californian who doesn't mind whipping around curvy roads like they're nothing.  We drove for about two hours on the windiest road I have ever seen.  Even Cory commented how bad it was.  Who's the carsick queen?  I am!  Top that off with getting locked in one of the NASTIEST gas station bathrooms I've ever seen after walking in on some Chinese guy who forgot to lock the door when he went in.  Score!

We finally made it to our hotel about 6:30, and checked in.  I had made reservations in advance at a hotel that was about 5 miles away from the kids so we could pick them up and be on our way first thing in the morning.  Unfortunately, we forgot that "first thing in the morning" to lovely ex is somewhere between nine and ten.  Cory called her, and convinced her to meet us at eight (her time, nine our time) so we could make the long drive back.  We took a shower (both of us felt like we were crawling in filth, seriously some of the worst bathrooms I've ever seen) and both of us were asleep by about eight thirty. 

The next morning, we got up and got ready.  We were running a little late, so I went without doing my final "hotel room" walk through that I've always done, sure that since we had only been there overnight and only had one little bag with us that there was no way I could have forgotten something.  WRONG.  I forgot my pillow.  Good thing we're going back to the same hotel when we take the kids back home in a week.  We met lovely ex and kids in the McDonald's parking lot right down the street from the hotel, and after a twenty minute exchange of "sign this, pay that" we were on our way.  We stopped to fill up, and headed out of town.  We had made the decision when we were planning the trip to buy an in-car DVD player for the kids.  Hands down, BEST investement ever.  Even with that, the kids still got stir crazy and we had to stop the car about every three hours to let them run around.  The drive home took twelve hours.  We finally got in at nine last night, Lexie had flown in from Michigan earlier that day, and we were finally together as a family.

We hurried and got the kids to bed, did our Christmas stuff, and then sat around talking to Cory's parents until close to midnight.  The kids were up at six.  I've never been the type of person to do well on little sleep.  Add that to the 24 hours in the car over the last two days and double the amount of kids in the house.  Sprinkle in a little "I have to be on my best behavior" that comes when Cory's family is in town, and you've got the perfect recipe for disaster.  And then, genius that I am, I got the idea that I was going to attempt to make Christmas dinner for all of us.  It wasn't anything major:  roast, green been casserole, mashed potatoes, and sour cream salad.  Well, I forgot to do the sour cream salad last night.  I had never made a roast before.  I had never had to time so many things to come out at the same time.  And Cory's kids wouldn't touch any of it.  Cory's mom now thinks I'm an idiot in the kitchen (she ended up making most of the dinner) and right as we sat down to dinner I ended up yelling at Cory and storming upstairs to my room.  I've been here for going on five hours now. 

Tell me, what is the proper etiquette when you've embarrassed yourself in front of extended family and still have them staying with you for the next week?  This is something I've never encountered before.  Also, at what point am I ok to go downstairs and eat something for dinner?  I'm interested to see if anything I attempted turned out edible, although judging from my cooking experiences in the past, I doubt it.  We'll see if there's anything left tomorrow, or if they just threw it all away.  For now, I'm thinking sleep is my best option.  Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Who needs to make a plan?

So things may not always go exactly as planned, but that's not a bad thing right?  Cory and I had planned on going up to Teton Valley for Thanksgiving, but the universe seemed to be acting against us.  Monday morning, my parents informed us that they had heard on the news that Tuesday night/Wednesday morning we were going to have a huge blizzard.  The news people were announcing it as "the blizzard of the century" and "the worst snowstorm we've seen in twenty-five years".  We weren't sure what to do.  Part of us still wanted to go, but at the same time we knew it probably wasn't a very good idea.  I have lived in Utah my whole life, and I've seen what the Utah snow storms are capable of.  Driving in the snow scares the crap out of me.  Long story short, we decided to wait until Wednesday to make a decision, and see what actually happened.  All the weather reports seemed to be saying that the snow was supposed to let up early Wednesday morning, and stop by mid-morning.  Tuesday afternoon, our building decided to close down early and let people go home so they wouldn't be stuck in the snow.  We took advantage, and came home to pack.  Cory is comfortable driving in the snow, so unless the storm was really bad we were still going to  try to go.

The storm was set to start at 6:00.  On our way home from work we filled up the gas tank (because they are all electric and in case the power went out we wanted to make sure our car had a full tank) got food (mostly junk because, hey, this is us) and got some firewood and long matches (for heat and such).  We picked up the kids, and headed home.  Lexie was all freaked out about the blizzard, not really knowing what it is, and she just knew something bad was coming and she was scared.  We explained to her that the blizzard was just a lot of snow, and everything would be fine.  She kept saying "I want to see the blizzard."  I told her "Look out the window, it's snowing.  That's a blizzard."  The blizzard really didn't seem like much.  Honestly, I was expecting a lot worse.  I think everyone else was too.  The blizzard was pretty much a bust.  What wasn't a bust, however, was the downright FREEZING temperatures that came with it.  Highs in the single digits, and lows below zero.  But, our car has heat, so Wednesday morning off to Idaho we went.  We had decided in advance not to take the kids with us.  They would be staying with Mae Mae at her apartment.  This made me feel a little better, because then if something happened we wouldn't have to worry about them getting too cold or too hungry.  We dropped them off, and were on the road.

I love traveling with Cory.  He is so much fun, and we have the best conversations.  I was really excited for just an "us" weekend.  We were joking around on way up there about the "blizzard" and what a bust it had turned out to be.  The roads were clear and pretty much dry, and it was cold but the traveling conditions weren't that bad.  Then we hit the Idaho border.  I did not realize that Utah uses salt on the roads, and Idaho uses sand..  I'm not a fan of sand.  All sand does is sit on top of the snow and provide traction until it is all flipped off the road by the cars driving over it.  It took me a little while to get comfortable with the idea that the roads weren't bad, just different, and Cory had grown up driving in it, so he knew what he was doing.  We continued driving, up until a little past Blackfoot.  That is where all traffic stopped.  We started calling people we knew in the area to have them check the road conditions and see if they could tell us what was going on and where.  Kell was able to find a report online of a massive rollover accident about 15 miles ahead of us.  At the rate we were going, it would take us about three hours to get past it.  On top of that, the sun was setting and we did not want to attempt the last 35 miles to his parents house in the dark.  We could have gone to Cory's sister's house in Rexburg, but even that was at least a couple of hours away.  We decided that the best idea was to get off the road and get a hotel room and go the remaining way in the morning. 

We got off the freeway, navigated some very interesting back roads (VERY good thing there wasn't any other traffic) and made it to Idaho Falls.  Cory knew where a hotel was that one of his friends had worked at in high school, and it shared a parking lot with a movie theater and Texas Roadhouse.  We figured we could go to dinner, go see a movie, and then sleep in the hotel.  We pulled in to the parking lot of the hotel, and there was not a car in sight.  I went in to talk to the clerk, and he gave me the price for a two queen bed room.  It was a little more than we had planned on spending, but after talking about it we figured we could skip the movie (gotta love free cable) and they served a free hot breakfast in the morning, so we'd save some money there.  We went in to get a room, and began having a conversation with the desk clerk.  He asked us if there were any kids with us, and we told him not for the weekened.  He asked if we were just getting away, and we told him not exactly, we were just trying to get to family for the weekend and weren't planning on stopping. 

Cory noticed they had a pool, and said "Ooh, a swim would be nice."  I reminded him we didn't have our swim suits, and the clerk said "You won't need them.  Let me know what you think when you get to your room."  We were a little confused, until we got to our room and opened the door.  The door opened in to a cute little living room with a couch, coffee table, TV, and fireplace.  Beyond that, there was a simple bathroom, a little breakfast nook with a mini-fridge and microwave, and a doorway.  Through the doorway was a MASSIVE king-size bed, another TV, vaulted ceilings, and a huge picture window.  Up the stairs from the living room was a loft with a full-size jacuzzi tub, and another TV.  The room was gorgeous.  We went back downstairs, told the clerk thank you, and headed out to dinner.

We pulled in to the Texas Roadhouse parking lot (after a minor detour) and right in front of us was a huge banner, advertising a 11 oz sirloin steak for 10.99, one of Cory's favorites.  It was turning in to a REALLY good night.  We went in, had an amazing dinner, and then went back to the hotel.  We relaxed, spent some time in the jacuzzi, and then went to bed.  Cory said the next morning that it was the best he had slept in a really long time.  The bed was SO comfortable.  The next morning, we took showers, packed up, and went down to have breakfast.  I'm used to hotel breakfasts that are a couple stale muffins and some warm milk.  This was potatoes, bacon, eggs, bagels, cereal, orange juice, milk.  It was amazing. 

We got back on the road at 11:00 (complete with a temperature of 3), and made it to the valley at a little before 1:00.  We got to spend the rest of the weekend with the family.  Andrew, Tess, and Clara were able to come down from Boise, we spent lots of time just hanging out, ate a TON of good food, and got very little sleep.  Honestly, I got pretty good sleep, but Cory didn't sleep much at all.  It was an amazing weekend, and I'm so glad we went.  I could have done without the LONG SCARY drive home, but I wouldn't trade the weekend for anything, especially since I didn't have to drive.  :-)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Poop...

Otherwise titled, the things that make me swear.  My house is, by no means, the cleanest place on the planet.  I will be the first to admit that I don't get down on my hands and knees and scrub the floor, the playroom is never picked up, the sink normally has dishes in it, and the kids rooms can get to be pretty much a disaster.  When I decide to clean (which happens about every second or third weekend) it becomes something that needs total focus for about 4 hours.  I start on the bottom level, and work my way to the top.  I know this seems backwards, but the top is the area that normally requires the most effort (where our bedrooms and main bathroom are) and if I started up there I'd get so worn out that I'd never get the other two levels done.

Normally on Saturday, Cory will get up with the kids and let me sleep in for a couple hours.  He has back problems, and after being in bed all night his back won't allow him to lay down anymore and he'll need to get up.  He'll normally get breakfast done, and then have the kids downstairs in the playroom when I finally roll out of bed about nine.  Last night, he had a really hard time going to sleep and was up until a little after 4:00, so when Phillip got up at 6:30, I was planning on getting up with him.  Cory got up and took him downstairs to the playroom, and then came back to bed.  I laid there for about half an hour, but couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to get up and get an early start on cleaning house.  I got the downstairs level done (bathroom, spare bedroom, playroom) while Phillip was eating breakfast.  I noticed that it seemed he couldn't get enough food or water.  He goes through phases where he eats like he hasn't eaten in days.  He ate about three and a half bowls of cereal and had two full glasses of water.  When he was done, I took him downstairs to play and focused on the center level (kitchen and living room).  I then went upstairs and did the upstairs bathroom.  I was bringing the rags and cleaning stuff back downstairs, and I noticed a distinct odor coming up from the downstairs playroom.  He had messed his diaper.  I finished putting stuff away, and took him upstairs to change him.

I decided, since it was Saturday and about time for him to go for his weekly Mae Mae time, that I would save time and just get him ready while I was changing his diaper.  I changed him (a pretty full diaper) and got him dressed.  I took him from his room to the bathroom to do his hair and brush his teeth, and (just as I do every single morning) threw his diaper down to the bottom of the stairs.  I do not think this is something I will be doing again.  I heard this sickening thud/splat, and looked down to see his disgusting dirty diaper exploded all over my newly cleaned living room floor.  I'm normally pretty good at holding my tongue, but there didn't seem to be a better word for me to say...  "F***"!!!"  Luckily, Phillip is not talking yet, although I wouldn't be at all surprised if one of his first words is a dirty one.  And for the first time since us moving in to this house, I did get down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the floor.  How's that for model parenting?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Life is tough, get a helmet


Apparently, this is a lesson I failed to learn when I was growing up.  I grew up believing that people were good (for the most part) and that life was fair.  My dad worked very hard, my mom worked very hard, they expected us to work just as hard.  We had our responsibilities around the house, we spent a good portion of our summer mornings out in the garden helping weed and take care of the food we would grow, it was very rare that we ever got something we either didn’t need or didn’t earn ourselves.  All of us had jobs as soon as we were old enough, and my parents taught us by example the importance of earning, saving, and budgeting our money.  We learned to not do the minimum required when it came to a task, but to do the absolute best we were able to do, and to take pride in a job well done.
I remember quite a few times in school being amazed at the students who would either flat-out refuse to do a job, or would cheat so they wouldn’t have to do it but would still get credit for it.  I watched these students fail, I watched a few of them get expelled, and I was sure that life would catch up with them and they would not make it far.     
Then, as I became a young adult, it became my responsibility to hire and supervise the younger staff at a few establishments I worked for.  Once again, I was amazed at the attitude some of the employees had.  They had this “I’m doing you a favor by working here, so you better let me sit here and do nothing or I’ll quit!” attitude.  It drove me nuts.  I heard quite a few of them complain that the job was “too hard” or “you don’t pay me enough to make me do this.”  Again, I saw the inability to work hard catch up to them, and most of them didn’t last very long.  I began to understand my managers desire to take care of the employees who did a good job, because it was hard to find employees who are willing to do the work required of the job. 
Now that I am in the “real world” I am seeing that there is no real punishment for people who do not know the importance of working hard.  People get promoted simply because they have been at a job for a specified length of time, even though people who are more qualified and deserving of the jobs are being overlooked.  Whole companies are punished by ridiculous rules because employers put them in place instead of punishing the one or two people who are taking advantage of the situation.  “You set your rules for your worst employee, not your best” has become the standard in today’s world.  People think they are owed something, simply for existing.  They don’t work for anything anymore, and the people who do work are doing the bare minimum to squeak by. 
So what happens when people grow up and become adults without learning the lessons they were supposed to learn as children?  Things like sharing, good sportsmanship, honesty, playing nice with others, taking turns.  What happens when the parents fail to teach them, or even worse, what happens when they teach them it’s ok to act like a spoiled little snot and expect the world to cater to them?  How are these people ever going to learn? 
I recommend an “adult reprogramming facility”, kind of like a combination between a 72 hour psych hold and prison.  Something that you are sentenced to when you are caught behaving like an adult three year old, where you are required to go through playtime therapy, individual therapy, and lectures on how to become a functioning member of society.  Heck, I even know some six and seven year olds who could be brought in as “peer tutors” because they behave better than some of the adults out there.  Even better, let’s require a certificate of completion the way we require a diploma when applying for a job.  If you fail, you are stuck in the program forever.  And this is only if my “drivers ed” type class and licensing program to be able to use your reproductive organs doesn’t fly.  Bottom line, something needs to be done.  I’m beginning to understand why people have to be on medication just to be able to remain sane in today’s society.  Pass the happy pills, please. 

Friday, October 15, 2010

Baby Teeth

Lexie’s teeth.. Ugh, where to begin. Lexie started losing her teeth when she was five. Her first top tooth fell out, then her second a few days later. Her two top teeth grew in, and then she lost her two outside teeth on the top, again both teeth were within days of each other. Then her bottom two outside teeth fell out. I thought it was slightly strange that her outside ones fell out before her middle ones, but when have my kids ever been the ones to do things normally. I figured they were just stubborn. I would check every once in a while to see if they were wiggling at all, but there was no give. We had an appointment with the dentist, so I expressed my concern to him. He told me that everyone’s teeth are different, and he was sure they would fall out soon. I asked at what point should I be concerned. He said that very rarely one of the permanent teeth won’t be there, but it isn’t something I should be concerned about because it’s so rare. I asked what we would do in that case, and he suggested we do an x ray on her teeth because it wasn’t worth discussing if it wasn’t an issue. We did a full x ray of all of her teeth, and she is missing not just one, but both of her bottom two center permanent teeth. Apparently it’s genetic, and runs in her father’s side of the family.

So what do you do? Options vary from patient to patient, but it sounds like the best option is to try to keep her baby teeth in as long as possible. Once they fall out, we can try to squeeze the other teeth together to close the space (not likely, as this works best with patients who are only missing one tooth or two teeth in different places), put in implants (ouch!), or give her a retainer with fake teeth on it. I remember one of my friends had one of these in middle school, and she used to flip her teeth around the bar on the retainer in her mouth. It made me sick.

For now, the baby teeth are holding strong, but there was an issue with them being really sensitive. She had pretty bad bottle rot when she was a baby, and her teeth aren’t really that strong to begin with. Back to the dentist… We did another x ray, the roots on the baby teeth are still fully developed and holding strong. He recommended we put crowns on her teeth that will provide an extra layer of insulation against cold and hot, and would also make them look like regular permanent teeth. So, we made the appointment, checked her out of school, and headed to the dentist for the crowns. They gassed her up, numbed her up, and started with the process of fitting the crowns on her teeth. I have a crown, I don’t remember it being that hard of a process. They put it on, make sure it fits right, and then cement it in to place. Apparently, it’s a very different story when you are trying to fit two crowns together on two little baby tooth stumps.

The dentist tried one tooth. Yep, that one fits good. Then he tried the other one. Yep, that one fits too. Then he tried both of them together… clink, clink, clink... Oops. “Can someone find that and sterilize it?” Wait a few minutes until they bring it back. “Let’s try the left one first.” Clink, clink, clink. “Where did that one go?” Wait a few more minutes. Let’s put some adhesive on it so they stick. (Genius..) Ok, they both look good. Now let’s clean the adhesive out and then we’ll cement them in. Waiting, waiting, waiting… “We can’t get all the adhesive out.” “Let’s try drilling it out with the drill.” Clink, clink clink… “No one move, we’re not sure where that one went.” Calling in techs from the other rooms to try to find the tooth… “Oh, there it is, way back there under the table in the middle of all the cords.” Take it out and sterilize it. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally, we are ready to start cementing them in. Apparently, this is a complicated process. Both teeth have to go in very close to the same time so they can get them straight. The tech hands him the first tooth, and he puts it in her mouth. The tech hands him the second tooth, and it gets stuck to his finger. Then, it’s stuck to his thumb. Finally, he gets it straight and goes to put it in her mouth. “Wait, which tooth is this?” Yep, they were backwards. He gives the tech back the second tooth, and starts working to get the first one off. He pries it off… clink, clink, clink. More drilling the cement out, more cleaning, one more dropping. Finally, they got the crowns on, the right teeth and everything.

Final product, her teeth look great. They were a little sore that night, but she is adjusting very well to having them. She had a hard time smiling the first day or so, because she wasn’t sure how to fit her new enormous teeth in her mouth (they are about twice the size of her baby teeth), but when she smiles now it looks more natural. The dentist says they should hold really well, as long as she doesn’t put too much stress on them, and this should help the baby teeth last longer. Looking back, I’m not sure the retainer with the fake teeth is really that bad of an idea after all…

Friday, October 8, 2010

Barefoot Adventures

I am constantly barefoot. At home, at work, outside, inside, it doesn’t matter. I don’t like shoes. I think they are uncomfortable, and ugly. I will wear shoes when I have to, which normally means at places where they are required, or where I know I risk losing a foot if I don’t wear them (public restrooms… EW). My shoes sit on a rug right inside my door, and I put them on right before I leave the house and take them off as soon as I get inside. Also, I normally take them off as soon as I get to my desk at work and will normally walk around the office without them on. Unfortunately, with our move to the new building, I am now required to walk past the offices of three very important people in our corporation to get to the copy room, a trip I make about 15 times a day. When we first moved here, I was scared to walk around without shoes on. I knew eventually I would run in to one of those “important” people, and I would have to explain to them why I wasn’t wearing any shoes. Lately, though, my desire to not HAVE to put on my shoes to walk 20 feet has outweighed my fear of getting reprimanded.

Speaking of football… Trust me, I’ll tie this all together in a little bit. My coworker (who I have worked side by side with for the last three years, and am very close to) is gone on a trip to Hawaii with her husband. This particular co-worker and I have a very “special” relationship. She constantly tells me to “go get a glass of shut the hell up” and I finish random comments with the phrase “except you”. “I really enjoy all the members of my team…except you”, “I am so happy with how hard everyone’s been working lately…except you”, and my personal favorite “I hope everyone has a good weekend….except you.” This is all said with a very sarcastic sense of humor that most people don’t get. She and I are just that way. We understand each other very well, and make each other laugh constantly. We also play mean jokes on each other. I have turned over all of the containers on her desk (which contain everything from pens and pencils, paper clips, binder clips, staples, etc) so that when she picked them up they would dump out all over her desk. I have turned her radio all the way up when she turns it off at night so it would scare her when she tured it on. I have disconnected her keyboard and mouse so she can’t use her computer. Not extremely creative things, but we have fun. Before she left for Hawaii, she told us there better not be anything wrong with her desk, or she’s going to be really mad. She didn’t, however, say anything about anyone else’s desk.

Final thoughts, and then I’ll get to the point of this little story. When we moved out to our new building, this coworker and I were put in very good desks. We are on the fourth floor of a great building that overlooks the whole valley, and the gorgeous mountains beyond. We were given the two desks that are right next to the window. Man, seniority rules! There was another coworker of ours who really wanted a window. She (jokingly) told my coworker that she was going to steal it from her, and offered her money for it. I really enjoy my window seat, but it kills my eyes to have the sun reflecting off my desk. Finally, last week, I decided I’d had enough and offered to trade desks with my other coworker who wanted the window seat. This little trade is what caused the following plan.

Monday will be my coworkers first day back at work in two weeks. I used to sit right next to her. I now sit down the aisle in my own little corner. Next to her is my other coworker. We have decided that tonight when I go home I am going to clean my desk of all of my personal items, and turn off my computer and phone. Both of these coworkers come in to work at 5:30 in the morning. I don’t come in until 7:30. On Monday morning, my coworker I switched desks with is planning on telling my vacationing coworker that I got caught walking around without shoes on by one of my superiors, was reprimanded, and went in to a fit of rage over being required to wear shoes. The plan is to let her believe that I walked out of my job until 7:30 when I come in. I am extremely excited for the weekend, but I have to say that this is the most excited I have ever been for a Monday. Hooray for torture!

Monday, October 4, 2010

This space is NOT for rent

My life has been very full of emotions lately. I’ve been noticing how emotions can take hold of someone, and if you let them they can root themselves so deep in your heart that they become the very center of your existence. Guilt, hurt, anger, sadness.. All of them can take over a person until that person you were doesn’t even exist anymore. For me, it has been anger. I have been so focused on things that have happened in my life that I haven’t been realizing how good my life actually is. For my own record, the following is a list of my blessings:
  • I have two amazing children that I get to see every day, hear their laughter, feel their love, join in on the “kid” stuff with them.
  • I have the most incredible husband, more than I could have ever dreamed of and way more than I think I deserve. He loves me unconditionally and lets me love him in return.  
  • We have a place to live, an adorable house that we get to make our “home” and it is exactly where we wanted and needed it to be.
  • I am part of a team. For the first time EVER I feel like I am with a person who is willing to work with me on accomplishing a mutual goal. Instead of us pulling in opposite directions, we are pulling each other along, and I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather be teamed up with.  
  • In this horrible economy, we both have great jobs with a company that is flourishing, and we are both in jobs that we love and are capable of accomplishing.
  • We both have amazing parents who are willing to support us in everything we do and help us in any way that they can.
  • We live in a country that allows us the opportunity to live our own lives and make our own mistakes.
These are in no particular order, they are just the things that felt important to me today. I’m sure that there are things (important things) that I am leaving off the list, but the point is that I have a lot to celebrate. Happiness is all around me, and I need to let it in my heart. Space in my heart is limited, and now it is my choice to no longer let emotions that are not healthy live in there. I choose to be happy. More importantly, I choose to LET MYSELF be happy. Life will happen, it may not always be sunshine and roses. But I am stronger than this, and my family deserves the best of me that I can give.

Friday, August 20, 2010

My daughter the photographer, and my son the nut

I found a few pictures on my phone while I was working on the birthday post that I just had to share. We went to Sam’s Club with my parents the day Lexie left for Michigan, and the kids started getting a little antsy. I took a few pictures of Lexie, and then gave her the phone. She took quite a few nice videos of my rear end as I was walking around the store (unfortunately, something mysterious happened to those so they will not be appearing here today) and apparently got some really good pictures of Phillip while I was looking for items. I thought they were too cute not to share.























I love Phillip's smile in the top couple. I can almost hear him laughing. They had such a fun time, and Lexie is so cute at keeping Phillip entertained.

The birthday party and the spider

Once upon a time, I had a blog…


A few weeks ago we had a joint birthday party for my two boys, born two days apart (plus a few years). We did our traditional meet at McDonalds for dinner that we’ve done every year. I love McDonalds. I love that we can go there and the cousins can play and have a ton of fun, I don’t have to worry about what to feed everyone, and someone else gets paid to clean up the mess. My family as a whole has kind of gotten away from doing the McDonalds birthday for various reasons, but everyone was nice enough to put their reasons aside and join us. Mimi and fam brought their celiac dinner, some didn’t eat and just came to play, some were only able to come for a bit, but everyone was there. Devon loved being able to see all of his cousins there. Phillip loved being surrounded by all the noise and chaos. The siblings all got to talk (or scream) to each other over the general raucous that the kids all caused.

Mimi made her family and all the celiac cousins cupcakes with celiac flour and soy milk frosting so they could participate in all the festivities. They looked amazing (both her boys had blue mouths from “helping” mommy in the kitchen) and from how quickly they were devoured I’m sure they tasted amazing too. Phillip doesn’t get to eat sweets very often, and I had stressed over what to get him to celebrate his birthday. I had finally settled for some animal crackers that he really likes. I’m sure, had he eaten them, they would not have even come close to comparing to the cupcake. He devoured it, licking up just about every crumb, licked the frosting off his fingers, and then started licking the table.. I think that would be the sign of success.

After the dinner, Shad and Cory started talking and Shad said he would like to come over to our house and work on getting our computer backed up on his nifty little system. We had Devon for about another hour and a half, so we invited the remaining cousins over to our house to play. Our house has not been the recipient of the hoard of cousins yet, and I am happy to announce it is still standing proudly. The cousins all spent some time enjoying our playroom downstairs, and then all quickly decided that outside would be a better option for the number of kids we had. They got the balls and mitts and toys that we had that could go outside, and let the neighborhood know they were there.

After everything had calmed down, and the kids were in bed, I went downstairs to make sure everything was closed and turned off. I went down in to the playroom, and there, on the wall right next to the toy box, was the biggest spider I think I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if all the kids and noise down there had stirred it and it was trying to make an escape or what made it decide to show itself, but the thing was absolutely huge. I yelled (ok, shrieked like a little girl) for Cory to come down and kill it, and he came to my rescue. Even he commented how big it was. Ugh, I hate spiders.

It was a really fun day, we loved having all the kids together, I loved having a chance to sit around and talk with everyone, and everyone slept really well that night. All in all, I think we’ll call this one a success.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Lexie in Michigan


Lexie has been talking for years about when she was little and went to Michigan with Mae Mae. She was a big hit, and was spoiled rotten by all of the family. She has been asking to go again ever since, so Mae Mae promised her that she would take her this summer. When I first heard about it, I was fine with her going. She is getting to be so big, and is so responsible. She goes with Mae Mae every Friday night for some "girl time", and I figured it would be nice for my Mom to have a break from watching her during the days while we are at work. She can be kind of a handful when she gets bored.


As the time got closer for her to leave, and I heard about how long she would be gone, I started to panic. She has never been away from me for more than a couple of nights, and now she would be gone for over two weeks. They would be staying in a beach house, right on the shores of Lake Michigan. I had nightmares about the water, about her not listening, and about something happening to her. I tried not to think about it. But I had to. I had to get her packed and ready to go. Cory's family was in town when she left, and I think that helped because I would have cried like a baby otherwise. I really don't like other people to see me cry. It seemed like it all happened so fast.

As of tomorrow, it will be one week since she left, and ten more days until she gets home. I know she is having a blast, and I'm sure she is loving that all the attention is on her. Mae Mae loves to take her wherever she wants to go, and both of them love shopping, eating out, and sightseeing (all things I would rather not do too much). I can't wait for her to be home. Things are so quiet around the house when she's not there.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Going "Home"

It's amazing how Idaho is beginning to feel more and more like "home". Cory's family contains some of the neatest, most fun, most friendly people I've ever met. This last weekend was one of those rare times when Cory and I got to go up by ourselves, and while we missed the kids it was great to have some time to ourselves. We planned the trip when we found out that Cory's oldest nephew, his wife, and their new (can you really call a ten month old new?) baby were going to be there. I hadn't met any of them, Cory had never met his little great neice, and he hadn't seen his nephew and neice-in-law for a few years.

The weekend was full of little things that are worth mentioning:

Metallica/Linkin Park
Not being able to wait until traffic FINALLY cleared
Road construction
Getting to spend time with the family
Huckleberry shakes at the emporium
Campfires and family reunions
Annie I Over
GREAT food
Getting to play games with Dad
Troy and Clara on the 4 wheeler
Laughing until we cried
Cheetos and Cheezits
Sleeping in
Square Ice Cream Cones (Huckleberry again)

I can't wait to get back up there and see everyone again! But until then, here are a few pictures:









The family playing Annie I over.













Troy and cute Clara on the four wheeler. He is SUCH a cute grandpa with her.









CUTE Clara. I know it's not the best picture, but she is so in to everything, it's hard to get her to hold still. She has some of the best faces.








Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Corrections

Cory pointed out that my last blog, and a few things I've said in passing without really thinking, make him sound like less of a person then he actually is. When I say he "makes" me do things, this is not him talking, this is me. What actually happened is I mentioned that I would like to get a couple more frames and do projects for my kids like the ones that I did for his kids for Valentine's Day and get all of them up around the house. He mentioned it might be a good idea to get Mikelle's project done first. It was in no way forceful or demanding. It was in his same loving, gentle way that he says everything else. The way that "makes" me want to do them, just to make him pleased with me. It is all internally driven. The way that makes me love him more every day . He questions everything, which caused some pretty angry discussions at the beginning of our relationship. It took us having a very deep conversation (during which I think we both learned things we didn't know about each other and ourselves) that he is just inquisitive. When he questions things it isn't because he doesn't agree with them, it's because he really wants to know why. If things are important to me, if I have a preference, or even just a passing thought he wants to know what sparked it, why it matters, how I feel about it, and where it comes from.

He has influenced me to reexamine a lot of things that were important enough to me in previous times to cause extremely hurt feelings and massive defensiveness. Not with him, with others. My obsessive nature has caused huge rifts between me and quite a few other people, but with him I'm realizing that it REALLY doesn't matter if the bed is not made exactly perfect, if the fork is on the wrong side of the plate, if we don't buy the name brand food because "that's what I grew up with." I'm learning that store brands are in some cases better then the name brand stuff, finding ways to save money are fun, it's possible to have a great date night for under five dollars, life is more fun when you aren't stressing over every little detail, and loving someone means loving EVERYTHING about them. This last statement is not because I "have" to love everything about him, it's because he loves everything about me. Things that other people have either thought were a hinderance or just plain didn't even notice he not only notices but admires and compliments. Things that I always thought were things people should admire, or qualities that I've been proud of in myself, are the things that he mentions and loves. There is nothing more comforting and amazing than being loved for everything you are, and there is no one more comforting and amazing than him. I love him with all my heart, and it amazes me how much deeper it gets every day. He understands me on levels that I didn't even know existed. I am so lucky to have him, and I can't wait to spend forever with him. He is my heart, my soul, and my existence.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Blah... And other stuff.

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been having a hard time putting my thoughts in to words. I feel like no matter where I am or how good of a day I'm having I still feel like there is this dark cloud hanging over my head. I'm hoping it's still just me adjusting to my lack of pills. I feel like I don't laugh as much anymore, like when I smile it's all fake, and I lose my patience a lot easier. I hate feeling like this. I feel like a bad wife, a bad mom, a bad sister, and a bad friend. I don't ever want to do anything anymore. I come home, cook dinner (sometimes, if my family is lucky), put the kids down, and go straight to bed. Bunco is this Thursday (something I normally look forward to) and I don't even want to go. If there weren't already so many people trying to get out of it, I would probably try to find a sub.

I have been attempting to get some work done on my sister's (very, very late) Christmas present. Just to clarify, I add a very for every Christmas that goes by without me finishing it. I have a very late and a very, very late that I owe to two different sisters. I've never been one for finishing things on time. It's difficult, the very, very late present. I've had to unpick a lot, and I'm hoping it doesn't show too much once she finally gets it. I've been put under orders (from a very sweet husband who is just trying to be motivating) that I am not allowed to do any other projects until I finish this particular one. If I ever do get to the point that I finish things on time it will be all because of him. He is my motivator, and I'm lucky to have him around.

Lexie had her Mother's Day program at school. It was very cute, and very different from the programs that they put on in Kindergarten. I remember going to the little programs last year and barely being able to tell that anyone was singing. They were all so quiet and shy. This year, they sang along to a piano instead of a cd, and they all really sang out. It was nice to actually hear the kids. We got some video of it that I will upload once we get internet at home (if we ever do) or once I can get over to my parent's house with all the necessary equipment. She made us a book, an actual hardcover book, that was written and illustrated by her. She drew some very cute pictures of her interacting with all of us, and even a page dedicated to my sister's dog Sophie. Cory laughed so hard at her page for him. She wrote "I love wrestling with my dad." and drew a picture of her flying through the air saying "Look out, daddy!" with him screaming and trying to get away. It was so cute. She made Cory a "grass-head" guy, which sits proudly on his desk, because the dad's get cheated out with having Father's Day not be during school. She was so excited for us to come see her, and did such a great job. I love seeing her work so hard.

Phillip has been really expressing himself lately. We've been trying to give him choices whenever possible, and he's been using that freedom very responsibly. Most of the time, it is only things as simple as what he would like to eat. I've tried a few times in the past to give him choices, and he would just grab whichever one he saw first without really looking at them. Now, when we hold two things out for him to choose between, he will look back and forth between them and study them very carefully, then take one from us and put it on the table. He'll also pull out the toybox he wants to play with down in the playroom and wait for us to open it. He has started trying things on his own, and then when he can't do them himself he'll grab our hands and put them on whatever object he needs help with (opening his cuppie, opening doors, getting toys to work). He seems to be really seeking his independence. But, along with this comes quite a few challenges. He used to be a lot like a baby. We could do what we needed to do with very little push back from him. Now, when he needs to do something he doesn't want to do (like getting his diaper changed or going to bed) we get a lot of attitude. He bites, kicks, cries, and throws tantrums. I know it could be a lot worse. I've seen it a lot worse in other kids. But compared to my sweet, easy going little boy of previous time, this is a lot for me to deal with. I have a hard time reminding myself that this is how he communicates and I just need to be patient. I can't wait for the words to come...

Friday, April 30, 2010

Proud Mommy

Lexie has been turning in to such a big girl lately. I'm not sure when it happened, or how it happened, I just know I turned my back one day and when I turned back around my "little girl" had turned in to this little adult. We still have our struggles. There are times she thinks she is a lot bigger than I want her to be. We fight about bedtimes, bored time activities, whether or not she actually HAS TO finish her dinner. She has to be prodded, reminded, and sometimes sternly scolded when it comes to things like cleaning up after herself or getting ready. But for the most part she is very capable of doing responsible things and taking care of herself. She is loving school. Her spelling and writing are getting much better, she has gone from reading eight page beginner books to reading chapter books, and she is flying through the math concepts she brings home. She really seems to crave learning, and she has a very bright and capable mind.


I got a call on Tuesday that Lexie had been chosen as "Eagle of the Month", an honor at her school to reward the students that have been working hard. Each teacher chooses one student a month to be honored, and they get a certificate from the teacher, a little treat of some sort, a mechanical pencil, and lunch with the principal. I have loved watching Lexie's interactions with the principal at her school. Mrs. Sanford made it very clear at our first back to school night that she didn't like "going to the principal's office" to be a punishment. She does not want students to be afraid of her, and she likes getting to know them on good terms instead of just the bad ones. I thought this was all just talk, but as I have watched how the school works I have seen that it is really true. Almost every accomplishment that each grade has lists "a trip to the principal's office" as one of the rewards that the student gets for finishing. Lexie says she keeps a bucket of candy in her office and each student gets to pick one when they come to visit, and lunch with the principal is one of the highest honors in the school. I found out from a friend last night that the principal also comes to the classrooms when there is a big report or assignment that the students have to present to be in the audience supporting them. I love how positive the school is, and I love that Lexie is able to go there. It is such a blessing for us to be where we are right now.

We got to the presentation a little bit late (only about two minutes, they had just barely started) and Lexie was sitting with a couple of the other students and their parents. She came to stand with us in the back, and we listened as the principal read a general description of what an "Eagle of the Month" was. It was the normal things you'd expect: friendly, good worker, on task, etc. but then on the bottom of each certificate was a place for the teacher to write a paragraph about why this particular student was chosen. I don't remember what exactly was said in Lexie's paragraph, but one phrase really stuck out in my mind. The teacher said that Lexie "is always aware of everything going on in the classroom". I know there have been multiple times in our house where Lexie is involved in everything. I've caught her checking the doors to make sure they are locked, lunging for Phillip's hand when the front door was open to make sure he didn't run away, picking things up when he drops them, telling me his drink is empty when I'm not paying attention. She is very aware and I think Cory and I have both been frustrated multiple times by her needing to know EVERYTHING and not being satisfied with a simple answer. My mom has pointed out quite a few times that she is the perfect big sister for Phillip, because with his needs it's necessary to have someone that is going to watch out for him and be aware of everything around him. I need to be more appreciative of that. I am so blessed to have my little girl, and I love her so much.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Oh....My....WEEK!!!

My mom called me at about noon on Monday (a week ago) and told me that Phillip had just come home from school and was acting a little "different". Well, yes, I have a "different" son. I soon realized this was not what she meant. She called me about a half an hour later and told me I needed to come home, something was not right. I pulled Cory away from his job (not too hard, he loves time off as much as I do) and we headed home. We stopped by Mom's to pick up Phillip, and as soon as she answered the door I knew something was wrong. I couldn't hear him, couldn't see him, there was no sign that he was even there. She told me he had fallen asleep on the couch. This is extremely rare for my little boy. He does not take naps. EVER. We have a hard enough time getting him to go to sleep at night. I picked him up, and he cuddled in to my shoulder and went back to sleep. I wrapped my arms around his back, and realized it was burning hot. My mom let us use her thermometer, and that confirmed my worst fears. A fever of almost 103. Ever since Devon's fever that ended up in the emergency room when he was five I have been scared to death of one of my kids getting a fever. We took him home and gave him some Tylenol, and he promptly went back to sleep. He slept pretty much all the way through to Tuesday morning. I called in to work. I was pretty sure I'd be back the next day, this was Phillip. This is my boy that eats horse manure and dirt. He has the strongest immune system EVER. Then, when I went to check on him at eight thirty after getting Lexie off to school, I noticed the throw up. It seemed like every time I went to check on him for the next two days there was throw up somewhere. Phillip is not a child who will sit still when they throw up, or is even aware enough to hold something to throw up in. When his stomach starts hurting him bad enough to throw up, he runs. He runs in circles around his room for as long as his energy can sustain him, and then he falls down. He'll wait for a minute, and then get up and run again. This goes on until he throws up. What this results in is spotty trails of throw up all over his room. I'm amazed at how much came out compared to how little went in. The only thing good about this is after he's done he is tired enough to sleep.

Finally, on Wednesday night, I decided something had to seriously be wrong. He wasn't getting any better. This was more than just a bug. I called his doctor's office and found out that his doctor was not in that day. I (sobbingly) told the nurse that his doctor is the only one who can treat him. He has special needs and I'm not sure how well another doctor would do with it. Hearing her say "Oh, is this Phillip?" meant more to me than you could possible imagine. Up until this point I had not said my name or his name. Let's face it, I didn't want to forever be remembered as the mom who cried over a little throw up. Knowing that not only my doctor, but my doctor's staff knew him well enough to remember him gave me the courage to take him in to see a different doctor. I made the appointment, and my mom drove us up there. He cried and whimpered the whole way, and then in the waiting room he began his "preparation rounds". The five minutes we were out there seemed like almost an hour, but he didn't throw up. Once we were in the room, he was able to lay down on the exam bed, and he seemed to calm down a little. The doctor came in, and I asked if he had been warned about Phillip. Examining him is not a job for the weak. He kicks, bites, screams, hits, and throws himself on the floor. The doctor smiled, and said yes, he was prepared. His son has special needs also, and he's familiar with them. He goes through the examination with minor fits from Phillip, and then comes the part I've been dreading. The strep test. I hate them, everyone I know hates them, and I hate knowing that I have to help him torture my son. Cory held his hands, I held his head and legs, and the doctor held his face and did the swab. It was over very quickly, the doctor was amazing. Unfortunately, we could not get Phillip calmed down. The doctor told us he was almost positive it would come back as negative, and we could pack up and go home. They would call us with the results. We had everything packed up and were ready to leave, and he came back in. It was positive. We made the decision to get a shot instead of a prescription, which meant another twenty minutes, and another torture session. We were just glad to have a diagnosis. That meant drugs which meant a quick recovery.

Thursday night, Phillip had his first poopie diaper in five days. I took it as a sign he was doing better. Friday morning, we had one more episode of throwing up, and then it was over. He still seems really frail. He's obviously lost a lot of weight. My mom says he acts like a scared little animal. I'm not sure if he's having flash backs of what it was like to be sick, or if his body is rebelling as it's trying to get better, but he is just not the boy I had before. This is the first time he's been really SICK. I'm hoping he gets back to the little boy I knew. He was just starting to come around in so many things. I miss my baby boy.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Money, money!!

Cory and I have been working for quite a while on getting a budget in place, since before we were married. He has always been VERY on top of his money (kind of a necessity with his previous situation) and I have not had the tendency to pay very close attention. As my dad puts it, once you turn on that faucet it is very hard to turn it back off. I figured that before I married this wonderful man I would like to stay married to I should probably learn to stick to a budget. The first few weeks (ok, months) were very scary. It was hard for me to come to terms with how much money I was actually spending. It wasn't a ton, but I wasn't sticking to the budget I had decided on for myself, and I knew there was no way I could be a contributing member of a household if I wasn't able to help with any of the bills. There was no way Cory could do it all himself, and I knew I had to change. I started being more aware of what I was spending. I'll be honest, there were times I was not as careful as I should have been, but I always tried to be more careful after something like that to make up for it.

We decided not to have a joint budget until after we were married. For me, that was partly because I knew it would be a big (HUGE!!) change, and it was partly because I didn't want him knowing how much I spent. I knew money was tight for him, for reasons beyond his control, and there were times I liked to spoil him. I went overboard for birthdays and Christmas, for both him and his kids, because I knew I could at this point and it would be awhile before we were in a position financially to be able to do that again. He was always grateful, but the question always came up "Are you sure you're ok to be spending this much?" I always told him I was fine, and most of the time I was, but I didn't want to be affecting our joint budget with money that I was spending so carelessly.

So now we are married. For the first month I was able to talk Cory out of doing the joint budget thing. We were in the process of setting up a household, we had just gotten married, we found excuses to go out to eat a little more than we probably should have, we splurged at the grocery store. A lot of this was my fault, and I put a lot of things on the card that was still "mine" so we wouldn't have to worry about it. Finally, the time came to bite the bullet. Cory already had a budget in mind, he had done a really good job at figuring out pretty much what everything should cost and we had a pretty solid budget. I thought we were just fine. We seemed to be doing well, we knew how much money we had, we weren't running out. But finally, the inevitable happened. We had our first "money fight". I call it a fight. Cory calls it a discussion. Just one more area where we have very different opinions. I won't go in to details, but this is one of those very rare occasions where we were both right, we just didn't see it the same way. We got everything worked out, we still have money, and more importantly we are still married. It's the little reminders like this that make me feel human. I like that we don't have a "perfect marriage". We don't see eye to eye on everything, and we're not afraid to fight (or discuss) it out. We are getting pretty dang good at getting the other person to see our point of view and really trying to listen to what the other person is saying without being defensive. I love that our marriage is REAL. Just one more thing I love about being married!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Easter Then and Now

I love Easter. It has always been a big holiday in my family. It is my Mom’s favorite, right up there with Christmas, because of what they both symbolize in our religion. My mom is one of the strongest people I know in our faith, and Easter symbolizes a blessing that without it there would be no chance of continuing in our life as we know it after we die. It is very spiritual, and my parents both tried really hard to keep it that way as we were growing up. We would do the whole traditional Easter celebration on Saturday (the Easter eggs, Easter baskets, and the Easter egg hunt) so that Sunday could be focused totally on the spiritual aspect of the day. We would go to church, listen to the amazing talks, lessons, and music numbers that they had that day, and then come home and have an amazing Easter dinner. A good majority of my life has been focused on food, especially good comfort food, and Easter dinner was no exception. We had my mom’s amazing au gratin potatoes (that I have NEVER had any that even come close to comparing), green bean casserole, ham, frog eye salad. It was a huge spread, and we looked forward to it every year. Dinner would be full of good conversation, family moments, and eating so much we couldn’t move afterwards. Shauna would always carve her ham in to some weird shape, Mom would be trying to get everyone to have “just one more serving” as she realized how many leftovers she’d have to fit in the fridge, and the rest of us would be glad to have real food in our stomachs after 24 hours of stuffing ourselves full of Easter candy.

Easter now is very different. Now I am the one in charge of making sure the eggs are colored (didn’t happen this year), the eggs are hidden (candy ones hidden, happened at eleven o’clock at night), and the Easter bunny has all necessary things to fill the baskets (took some massive outside help). I was considering trying to cook the traditional Easter dinner myself. It would have been the biggest thing I’ve ever cooked, and I’m sure it would have turned in to a major disaster. Luckily, my parents invited us over to their house and I didn’t even have to attempt it. The one good thing about being in charge of Easter is I get to pick what Easter candy gets to be used in the celebrations. What that means is I get to pick a bunch of candy that I like, let the Easter Bunny use it to fill the baskets, and then I get to take it away and eat it all myself. I LOVE jelly beans, and I love seeing all the new kinds of jelly beans that come out around Easter. It seems like every candy company out there tries to find some way to get some of the Easter craze. This year, I tried two new ones. Hot Tamales came out with spice jelly beans. I bought them up in Idaho, and they were all gone before Easter. They were not my favorite, but they were pretty good. My only complaint is they didn’t have any black ones. Spice drops are one of my favorite candies, (I am definitely my daddy’s little girl) and they aren’t the same without the black licorice. Lifesavers had new pastel candies for Easter, with new flavors to go along with them. Pina Colada, Cotton Candy, Melon Blend. They were all good, but I was REALLY excited when I saw they came in jelly beans too. Those have been my favorite this year. I’m hoping they come back next year.

We had a problem this year with Easter being on the same day as Lexie’s birthday. I have always believed that kids who have a birthday on or near a holiday always get cheated, because their birthday always seems to end up getting lumped in with the holiday. Lexie is the only one that I have had to worry about (now it’s Cory too, poor guy was born a week after Christmas), and I wanted to make sure she knew her birthday was special, even though it was on Easter. We took her a few days before and bought her a bike. It is her first bike, and looking around at all the other little bikes I was reprimanding myself for not getting her started on one earlier. She is big enough now that she has a long way to fall as she’s learning to ride. I found a bike online. I was looking for one that was girly, but generic so she wouldn’t outgrow it too fast. I found a great, bright pink BMX bike with training wheels that was at a reasonable price. Mae Mae agreed to split it with us, and we found a matching helmet that was actually on sale. It was available in the store, so we loaded the kids up and took them to the store with us to pick it up. I was excited for her to get it, and she was excited to finally have it. Of course, being seven and the emotional little girl that she is, the bike is still in the box because she has been unable to make it through a full day without having a meltdown. We’re hoping it will happen before she grows so much she no longer fits it. We’ll see how things go.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Grumbles and Gripes

It might just be because I am minus some very important pills in my life lately, but the world has seemed to be a whole lot grumpier. I have a girl who works in my department who has a "scentsy" candle on her desk. All of us in my department have commented on how good it smells and how it makes our office smell good. Today, I came in to work and found out that a girl, not in our department, had come to our supervisor and complained that the smell was making her sick and we needed to unplug it. This girl, the agitating oompa-loompah as we refer to her now, does not sit anywhere near our office. There is no reason for her to be required to walk past our office. There is no reason for her to have to smell the candle. Everyone else has commented that they can smell it walking past our door, but even the girls who sit in the aisle right across from our office haven't said anything about it. I really feel that people who need to have this much control over their environment should either be mandatorally medicated or should not be allowed to leave their house. Of course these might be my own grumps exhibiting themselves, but I hate when people have to make other people conform to what they want.

On a better note, I feel like I am adjusting to not taking my pills. I've been off for a week now, and the dizziness and brain zaps are going away. I'm still pretty ornery, especially at night and with the kids, but I'm hoping that goes away and I can go back to being a good wife and mom. I found out that the birth control that I'm on is going to be seventy bucks a month once I switch insurances. That is kind of a big hit, but at least once I'm on Cory's insurance we can use his HSA to pay for them. I can't wait until it's not an issue and I don't have to take any of the pills anymore. I really wish sometimes that my body could just be normal.