Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Grumbles and Gripes

It might just be because I am minus some very important pills in my life lately, but the world has seemed to be a whole lot grumpier. I have a girl who works in my department who has a "scentsy" candle on her desk. All of us in my department have commented on how good it smells and how it makes our office smell good. Today, I came in to work and found out that a girl, not in our department, had come to our supervisor and complained that the smell was making her sick and we needed to unplug it. This girl, the agitating oompa-loompah as we refer to her now, does not sit anywhere near our office. There is no reason for her to be required to walk past our office. There is no reason for her to have to smell the candle. Everyone else has commented that they can smell it walking past our door, but even the girls who sit in the aisle right across from our office haven't said anything about it. I really feel that people who need to have this much control over their environment should either be mandatorally medicated or should not be allowed to leave their house. Of course these might be my own grumps exhibiting themselves, but I hate when people have to make other people conform to what they want.

On a better note, I feel like I am adjusting to not taking my pills. I've been off for a week now, and the dizziness and brain zaps are going away. I'm still pretty ornery, especially at night and with the kids, but I'm hoping that goes away and I can go back to being a good wife and mom. I found out that the birth control that I'm on is going to be seventy bucks a month once I switch insurances. That is kind of a big hit, but at least once I'm on Cory's insurance we can use his HSA to pay for them. I can't wait until it's not an issue and I don't have to take any of the pills anymore. I really wish sometimes that my body could just be normal.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I'm LOVING this whole married thing

This weekend was the greatest weekend! Lexie went with Mae Mae again on Friday night, and Cory had to go help my little sister move from her apartment to my parent's house, so Phillip and I went over to my parent's house to finish Cory's (very late) Valentine's present. This thing has been so FRUSTRATING that it almost didn't get done. I decided when I found out his kids were moving to California that I wanted to be able to have little pieces of them all over the house. I got the genius idea to get a bunch of pictures of them and frame them in kind of a collage. Then, I didn't like the way it looked with just pictures so I cross stitched their names and little pictures that reminded me of them to put in the middle. Then, the pictures didn't turn out (I downloaded them of facebook and tried to get them developed. Not something I recommend.) I decided to scrap the whole idea, and just come up with something else. It eventually turned out ok. When Cory came back from Idaho he let me borrow his camera, and I was able to get originals of all the pictures. But, in the meantime, I didn't finish the cross stitch things because I had decided not to do the pictures. So, now it is a month and a half past Valentine's... Oops. Cory loved his present though. I got exactly the reaction I wanted, and he didn't seem to mind waiting so long for it.

Saturday morning Cory let me sleep in while he got Phillip up and tried to feed him. Phillip has had eating problems lately, and hasn't been the easiest to feed, so I really admire him for trying. I heard Phillip crying during all this, and decided I should probably get up and be a mommy. I went down and we got to have some "family time" minus Lexie, and then barracaded ourselves in the basement so we could work on the spare bedroom. We got a lot accomplished. Over Saturday and Sunday we finally got through all the boxes and decided what we were keeping and what we were getting rid of. We got all his kid's clothes organized and put in the dresser, sheets washed and put away, the closet organized, and it's really starting to look like someplace I wouldn't mind people staying. I even ended up taking a nap down there yesterday afternoon. It's turning in to a very nice room.

And finally, to top off my weekend, Cory made dinner for me last night! I had told him earlier that I wanted to get the kids fed and to bed, and have a date night with him. While I was bathing the kids and putting them to bed he made this amazing pasta dish with a portabello mushroom sauce, a yummy salad, and even got out pieces of cheesecake for us for dessert. It was so good, and so nice to be spoiled this weekend. It made it very hard to come back to work today. I love weekends!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Exes and Oh!'s

It seems like our life has been full of drama lately. Both Cory’s and my exes have decided to cause problems for us lately. Lovely ex has been using the kids to manipulate every area possible in Cory’s life. Whenever she wants something she plays on Cory’s desire to be a good guy and take care of his kids. She moved the kids to California a few weeks ago, and I really thought the drama would stop then. But since she moved she has tried everything from “since you didn’t pay me enough money I couldn’t afford my cell phone, so now you can’t talk to your kids” or “I know you just paid me four grand in child support, but the kid’s tuition for school is due, so I need more money.” Now she’s even going as far as to threaten him with taking him to small claims court because of the money “he owes her”. I’m trying really hard to keep good thoughts about her. I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt, convincing myself it must be really hard for her to have such a boring life (cause her life must be boring if she needs to create drama), or that she must still be really hurt and is just acting out (I have a six year old, I should be used to handling temper tantrums.) But every once in a while a swear word and a bad thought slip out in her general direction. If I could control the world for one day I would like to unleash all the evil karma she’s generating against her in her direction. And as long as I’m dreaming, I’d like a pony….

Delinquent ex has created his own fair share of drama lately too. It all started about six weeks ago (maybe a bit longer) when his mom texted me and told me that he has been using again. His girlfriend, who I thought was such a great influence on him, has been using and drinking right along with him. That’s when the nightmares started. Every night was filled with images of everything from simple things like he and Lexie talking on the phone, to the worst imaginable. Things like him kidnapping the kids for drug money, to killing them because he didn’t know what he was doing, to him chasing us and us not being able to get away. Then, about two weeks ago, he and his girlfriend went on a huge theft spree, robbing quite a few people who had done nothing but help them, and then disappeared. The nightmares just got worse. His mom and his roommate, both of which were hit very hard, filed police reports and his roommates told the police where he would most likely be hanging out. Finally, last weekend while Cory and I were preparing to go to Idaho, the text came that I had been waiting for. He had been caught, and he was in jail. His mom forwarded me the link to the jail’s website, and I have been following it closely. They’ve already sentenced him to 160 days for prior warrants he never got cleared, and he is still waiting to be sentenced on the theft cases. They are charging him with a felony, so hopefully this will go away for awhile.

Speaking of Idaho (kinda… it was awhile back there, remember?) Cory and I were able to get away for a few days without the kids this weekend. We went up to Idaho to spend some time with his family while his nephew was in town. It was so nice to get away, see the family, meet his nephew, and spend some time with those that weren’t able to make it for the wedding. Jana and Chris weren’t able to make it in from Rexburg, it would have been a short, quick trip, and life just wouldn’t afford for that right now, but it was great to see everyone else. We got to go see the middle school where Cory’s brother works. He gave us a tour of all the amazing things this school offers, from a water-run heating system, to a GORGEOUS fully functioning kitchen that reminded me so much of Marie Callender’s. We got to hang out and play around there for awhile, and then we went to King’s where Cory’s sister-in-law and neice work. We spent way too much money there (on junk food) and got some ideas for possible Easter/birthday presents for the kids. We ate a ton of amazing food, watched some good movies, played card games, and had fun just hanging out together. It was very nice to have a break, but I sure did miss my kids. It was nice to come home and be a family again.

On the way up to Idaho, Cory and I enjoyed some beautiful weather. It had been one of those crazy early spring days where it goes from snowing to being sunny and almost fifty degrees, to back to snowing. We were able to see the storm clouds in the distance, and enjoy the sunshine. I realized too late that our great camera was in the trunk with the rest of the luggage, so I did what I could with my phone. These pictures don’t do it any justice, but I did the best I could.

Monday, March 15, 2010

It's starting to feel like home

It's so nice when the place you are living finally starts to feel like YOURS. I reached that point this weekend. Cory and I spent a good portion of this last weekend organizing the house and getting it to the point where it is safe for the kids to be running around in it. Once again, Cory was the driving force behind the organization. I am learning more and more about him every day, and I'm loving every minute of it.

The weekend started with a very upset little girl. She was supposed to go spend Friday night with Mae Mae, a weekend tradition, and because Mae Mae got sick this last week the plans had to be postponed. Lexie was not very happy. I had decided in advance that I would make Spaghetti, one of her favorites, to try and ease the blow. When we got home Cory took the kids out in the backyard to play. It was their first time being out there, and both of them loved just running around and exploring. It was great watching them out there running around. So great, in fact, that I managed to burn both the hamburger and the spaghetti noodles. We ate them anyway. I didn't think it was that great, but Cory assured me it was good. I managed to make enough that we could have it for dinner three more times this week. I take after my mother.

Saturday morning, Cory woke up before I did and went down to the "future playroom" and started moving boxes out of it. That room was kind of the catch-all for everything we didn't know where it would go. I told him that my goal for Saturday was to get the playroom to the point where the kids could play there safely. He did not need any more encouragement than that. By the time I woke up he had all of the boxes moved out and the toys in the center of the room waiting to be organized. We quickly went through all the toys and decided which we were keeping, which were being given away, and which needed to be kept away from Phillip. He then went to go buy a new hose for the washer and get the oil changed in the car. Lexie helped me finish getting the toys organized and we got the room DONE! It looks so good, and the kids love playing down there.

Sunday morning I woke up not feeling the greatest. Again. This sickness, whatever it is, does not seem to be going away. Cory decided to go work in the garage so we can actually use it as a garage. Somehow that is where all of the stuff from his apartment ended up. He hauled a ton of stuff around to the shed, hauled some in to the house, and organized the items that were staying out there. We still have a little bit to go, but we were able to move all the D.I. stuff out to the garage and out of the living room. Lexie was able to watch a movie down there last night, a reward for her, and I can now let Phillip roam free (for the most part). We then spent last night going through more boxes in our room (I think we only have about six or seven left) and then taking a MUCH NEEDED shower. In the midst of all this, I did manage to get all the laundry done and even make a few meals. The cooking thing is becoming easier, and no one has gotten sick yet. I'm just glad we finally have a place to call "home".

Friday, March 12, 2010

Wow, what a week...

I can't believe it's already been a week. It seems like it has just flown by. I have tried a few times to start a post about all that has been happening, but I just didn't know where to start. The past week has been a medley of random moments that will always (hopefully) be in the back of my mind. I decided today that I should finally get some of them down, just so I can always remember them. Most of them are little things.

The jetted tub with the "waterfall" shower in the room at the hotel
The sound not working on the DVD player
Coughing all night
Waking up to Cory sleeping on the chair because I took over the bed
The fish tank above our bed with the mysterious missing fish
3:30 am cough medicine run
"Late check out"
Papa Johns pizza for dinner
Hanging out with Cory's family all weekend
Hammering my thumb putting sliders on the couch
Finally moving in to the house
Finally moving out of Cory's apartment
Troy and the Neti Pot
"Because when I dance, I look like this..."
Everyone at the wedding reception
Opening gifts with Cory's family
How amazing the wedding/reception turned out
Our "stomach strengthening" bed that is now fixed
Putting together our bathroom organizers

And then there are the big things:

Waking up to Cory every morning
Our first night with the kids in the new house
Cooking dinner and no one dying
Eating dinner as a family
Bonding as a couple organizing our house
Learning to budget
Learning to let the little things be little things

I love how amazingly everything is going right now. It seems like things are only getting better, and I can't wait to see how our future goes. The kids are absolutely loving their new rooms. Lexie is playing in hers, something she never did at Grandma and Grandpa's. There have been quite a few times when we will find Phillip in his room, just sitting on his bed and looking around his room. I can't wait to get the rest of the house set up so they can explore and live. I want them to feel like this is "home."

My weeks seem to go by so much faster now. I love waking up with Cory, and going to bed with him every night. I think I have laughed more in the last week than I have in probably the last year. Cory is my best friend, my other half, and my soul. He understands me in a way that I never thought anyone was capable of. I love that we think the same things, laugh at the same things, want the same things. I always thought that I was "weird" and that there were things about me that no one would ever understand. With him, I don't feel "weird" anymore. I feel like I have lived the life that I have and gone through the things that I have to be the person that he needs and wants me to be. The things that other people either didn't like or didn't understand are the things that he loves about me. Each thing that we reveal to each other is another thing that the other person has always craved in a partner. I don't have to hide anything from him, and there is nothing more comforting than being loved for who you are. I can't wait to spend the rest of forever with him.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Wedding Brain

It's official, my wedding has officially gotten the best of me. I have been forgetting things that you would think no normal person could forget. Things like putting the date on your wedding invitations. Kind of an important thing, something most people would remember. Nope, not me! I'm special. Or how about sending out an email to all of my friends to invite them to the wedding and forgetting to attach said invitation. I think this is worse than pregnancy brain. At least with pregnancy brain I would make stupid mistakes but they weren't critical stupid mistakes.

Plus I have been ORNERY!! This is not too different from normal. I have my "don't touch me, don't talk to me days" just like the rest of humanity, but lately they have seemed to be much more frequent. I am getting upset over the dumbest things. I've been yelling at my kids, losing patience with them doing "kid-like" things. Last night I put them both to bed at 6:15. And then to add to my "mother of the year" award, I didn't check on them to make sure they were ok until after ten. Phillip had totally destroyed his bed and had fallen asleep with one arm stuck inside his pajamas behind the door. His binkie was stuck out in the hall. His favorite game lately has been shoving it under the door so we'll open it and talk to him. I missed him reaching out for attention, something that doesn't happen very often with him.

I've decided it's a really good thing that this wedding is only three days away because either I would go crazy and be committed to an insane asylum or Cory would decide I'm really not worth all this emotional disturbance and then we wouldn't have a wedding at all. As of right now the biggest crisis I am dealing with is the fact that there will probably be no one at my wedding or reception because they have no idea when it is. If that is the worst thing that happens in this marriage, I think that is a good sign for Cory and I. Plus, then we can start our honeymoon earlier. Nothing wrong with that...