Thursday, March 31, 2011

Have you heard I'm pregnant?

Wait, before you pick up the phone (because I know that's what at least three of you are thinking of doing) let me explain.  I have a "junk" email account.  It's the account that I use whenever I need to register for one of those stupid online things, like Amazon, Express online, Walmart online, etc.  Anything where you know giving your email address is going to open you up to unlimited junk that I really don't want to have to go through to get my personal email.  I have another email that I use to communicate with everyone that I actually want to get emails from.  Occasionally, I will get in and check the "junk" email.  Because it is my email for online stores, they will send me coupons and special codes to get amazing discounts, and I like to make sure I don't miss any of the good ones.  I got in a few months ago and noticed I had quite a few "baby" related emails.  I didn't think much of it.

Then, a few days after the emails started, the physical mail started.  I got countless samples of formula, baby magazines, offers for everything from diapers to nannies.  I thought it was a little odd.  About three weeks after the mail started, I came across an email from Baby that was pretty specific..  as in giving me the due date of my unborn child specific.  I noticed down at the bottom was a link to update "my account".  I clicked on it, and it took me to their website.  Under my account information, it had my name, my email, my address, the fact that I was already a mom, and it said I was expecting a child on June 5th.  Someone had gone in and registered me for this website.  And there was only one person it could be.

The only physical person who had this email address was Lovely Ex.  I had used it to send her an email about a year and a half earlier because I didn't want her having my real email address (for obvious reasons, apparently she's crazy).  She kept creating fake facebook accounts and sending me messages, and then blocking me from the accounts so I couldn't respond back to her.  Once I sent her the email, the harassing messages on facebook stopped.  Little did I know, she was just getting more creative in her forms of "torture". 

I did what any normal person would do.  I laughed (really, really hard... harder than I had laughed in weeks), gave all the samples and whatnot to a girl at work that is expecting, and then changed the account to be in Lovely Ex's name.  If she went to all that effort to create the account, she should really be the one reaping all the benefits.  So, today I got in to check the "junk" email again, and found out I had been registered for at least three more baby-making websites.  I think I need to start sending her recommendations on ideas that are more worth her time.  Someone needs a hobby.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


This week has been a very frustrating week.  I am having a hard time keeping my head up, and the stress of life is starting to get to me.  I found out on Friday that a judgement against me has been granted on one of Delinquent Ex's old debts, and they are garnishing my paycheck.  I can try to fight it in court, but because we were married at the time it's sounding like I'm going to end up having to pay it.  I am trying to prove that because we were separated at the time of service, and had been for over a year, that the debt is not my responsibility.  Trying to prove where I was living four years ago when I had no bills in my name is somewhat of a challenge.  I'm hoping the judge at least finds in our favor on stopping the garnishment.  Then, we have to go to court again to determine if I actually have to pay the debt or not.  All of this equals more time off work.  It seems like I'm off work more than I'm at work lately. 

On another note, Mae Mae was able to get Phillip in with a doctor who is a specialist in communication and nutrition who works for our same company.  We were very excited to see what she would recommend and if it would give Phillip the means to communicate.  He really seems to be trying lately, and I would really like for him to have the resources he needs to be able to communicate.  The clinic had me get on their website and fill out a bunch of forms and read a bunch of "what you need to know before your appointment" type things, and one of the recommendations it made was to check with your insurance carrier to find out what your benefits are and make sure the clinic is a preferred provider.  I called, and was told that they will only cover speech therapy if the patient has lost the ability to speak due to an accident or disease.  Where Phillip has never talked, they won't cover anything.  The member service advocate I spoke to recommended that I speak to mental health benefits to see if they could offer any help.  She transferred me over, and his disability is not recognized as a "disability" so they won't cover anything.  She recommended I google community services and see what is available.

It is so frustrating that my company will employ a specialist, make her part of a clinic that is within their corporation, carry their own health insurance, and then won't cover the disability that the doctor specializes in.  It's kind of like a restaurant bringing in a special cook, advertising the hell out it, offering people coupons to come in and try it, having the cook prepare the food, and then not letting anyone eat it.  It makes absolutely no sense to me. 

There are about four or five other things going on at this same time that, individually, I could handle them just fine, but when they happen one on top of the other it seems like the world is against us.  I just want to stay in bed and hide under the covers most days.  Not only is that not an option, I'm having to come in to work at least an hour earlier and stay at least a half an hour later on the days I do come in to attempt to make up hours for all the time I'm missing for dealing with life.  I'm exhausted, I'm ornery, and today I needed to vent. 

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A new olympic sport

Speed showering.  I would totally take the gold in this.  This became even more apparent today as I attempted to get ready to go run errands.  Cory had to go get the oil changed in the car, so I figured while he was gone I would get myself and the kids ready to go.  I got Lexie ready, Phillip was downstairs playing in the play room, and I got in the shower.  Within seconds of turning on the water, thoughts started going through my head. 

Did I leave the stove on?  I cooked breakfast this morning, and I honestly can't remember if I turned the stove off.  What if Phillip gets out of the playroom.  He could go in to the kitchen and touch the stove and burn his hand.  What if he tries to climb over the gate and falls down and gets hurt?  What if he gets over the gate?  What if he figures out how to get the front door open?  Oh my gosh!  He could totally be running down the street RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND! 

Needless to say, it was a very quick shower.  Everyone survived.  I don't need movies like Psycho to scare me when I'm taking a shower, I do a good enough job of that on my own.  FYI, I think I still have conditioner in my hair. 

Friday, March 4, 2011

One year and counting

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because
reality is finally better than your dreams"

I remember waking up first thing in the morning feeling almost surreal, like I couldn't believe the day was finally here.  I remember painting my toes and immediately smudging them.  I remember eating a tuna fish sandwich with pickles on homemade bread while Kell was doing my hair.  I remember getting butterflies waiting for the ceremony to start, happy he was sitting next to me instead of having to do the whole "walking down the aisle" thing.  I remember telling myself I'm not going to cry, and then immediately starting to cry in the middle of the ceremony.  I am not an attractive crier.  My whole face gets squished up and red, and I look like some weird mythical creature.  I remember worrying about what he would think of me crying in the wedding, and looking at him and realizing he was crying too.  I remember shaking so bad I almost couldn't get the ring on his finger.  I remember that first kiss as husband and wife. 

The wedding was very short.  We had both done the big wedding thing and neither one of us wanted to do it again.  I know he would have done it if I had wanted to, he's just that way, but I couldn't imagine anything better than us in jeans and sweatshirts, being comfortable on our wedding day.  The important thing was we were getting married.  We had talked about going to Vegas, just doing something at the court house, just getting it done.  We decided we wanted to be able to share the event with our families.  We threw the wedding together in a week.  It wasn't anything fancy.  Cory found the church.  My mom made a thousand cookies.  Steph and Shauna planned the wedding and reception, made sure all the details were perfect.  Kell did my hair.  Everyone that could be there was there to support us. 

The reception was perfect.  No line, no formalities.  Just cookies and punch, a DVD of pictures playing in the background, and a few people from the neighborhood who stopped by to tell us congratulations.  I still have leftover cookies in the freezer.  We were more involved in each other than the people who came to see us.  We were newlyweds in every sense of the word. 

 And then it was over.  We were sent on our way before the cleaning was done, something I almost felt guilty about.  I had gotten an overpriced room at a local themed hotel.  It was a horrible night, but not for any of the expected reasons.  The next morning, I woke up to my new husband.  We went home, unpacked our house, and began our life together.  This last year hasn't been perfect, but life with him is so much better than life without him could ever be.  We are working through things, our trials are making us closer, and we are learning to pull together as a team.  I love him more than I thought it was possible to love someone.  He is my husband, and I get to be his wife.

"Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning"