Thursday, June 30, 2011

Thursday: Surprise!

Today was a day FULL of surprises.  It started out innocently enough.. woke up 20 minutes late, scrambled to get the kids ready, got to work, and began working on stuff for month end.  About 10:30, Cory messaged me and told me his friend Will was in town and he wanted him to come over for dinner.  This is all well and good, I love having his friends over, but today was supposed to be my day for getting the house cleaned.  That meant my house was NOT clean.  There were a few times this week where I would look at something and say "I should really clean that", but then I'd put it off because I knew I would be cleaning tonight.  Cory told me it wasn't a big deal if it wasn't clean, but I insisted we head out a little early so I could at least get the really gross stuff cleaned up before he came over.  Cory and Lexie pitched in, and by the time Will showed up my house was actually looking pretty good.  It was nice getting to visit with him.  He's a friend of Cory's from WAY back, and it was fun hearing them talk about their pasts and getting caught up on each other's lives.

I also received two surprises in the mail today.  My work finally sent the check to repay for the majority of the money that was garnished out of my paychecks.  The amount of the check is actually more than my paycheck normally is.  That was a great surprise, and just in time for us to head out on vacation this weekend.  I also received a taser.. that one scares me a little bit.  Apparently there are quite a few people in this world who are worried about my safety.  In the last few weeks I have received pepper spray, a metal stabby thing for my keychain, and now a taser.  Fair warning, don't mess with me.  We'll probably both end up getting hurt.

Finally, I got a phone call from my HR department today.  I got the job.  Big YAY!  I will be starting on July 25th, which ironically enough is the five year anniversary of my first day with this company.  I love the way things work out.  Things are going to be a little complicated over the next couple of weeks as I try to make my transition in to my new position.  My boss is out of town, which makes giving my two weeks notice a little difficult.  I spoke with her boss (the one who talked me in to applying for the job) and he is trying to get a hold of her while she is gone so he can get the job listed to replace me.  I hope she takes it well.  I hadn't told her that I was even applying for multiple reasons. 

I'm very excited with how things are going.  This week has been a little stressful, and today was exactly the little break and boost I needed to push me forward.  Life is good, and I'm so blessed in every way. 

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wednesday: The Big 'Un

Today was THE. BIG. DAY.  The big day in court with Lovely Ex.  It was..  lots of things.  Lots of different emotions running around inside me today.  jlskdjfpasdf. That would be me starting this sentence four times, because I can't figure out exactly how to say what is in my head.  This is not a normal problem for me.  I have this overwhelming urge to just pick her apart.  As fun as that might be, I've learned it's not very productive and it just kinda pisses me off.  I'll just sum it all up by saying not much has changed between last time in court and this time, except for her choice of escort.  This time, she chose to bring the new husband.  I guess it was good to know he actually does exist.  I think this is the first time I've seen him.  I'm still debating on a "blog name" for him.  I have it narrowed down to a few, and I think I'm leaning towards "Shades" for reasons I will keep to myself.  I've also considered "Codfish", "Spineless Sam", and "Trophy Husband".  Votes?

I mentioned to Cory when Lovely Ex walked in that I hope Shades realizes what he is married to.  If not, this was going to be a rude awakening.  I'm guessing from the shocked looks she kept throwing his way (kinda like "I have no idea what they are talking about") and the scoffs she kept letting out during Cory's whole testimony that she has him very well convinced she's a normal, functioning member of society.  Or he's as crazy as she is.  I haven't determined which. 

Cory did an EXCELLENT job on the stand.  He had gone over his testimony multiple times with our attorney, and knew exactly what to say.  Lovely Ex's lawyer tried very hard to poke holes in Cory's story.  When that did not succeed he switched to attempting to portray Cory as a person of low moralities who was just trying to shirk his responsibilities.  Towards the end, he was grasping at straws and looking for anything to discredit Cory's image.  He went back to the supposed "break in" where Cory went back to his apartment to get his stuff.  He asked Cory "has my client ever attempted to enter your apartment when you weren't there?" trying to prove that Lovely Ex was a better person because she would never attempt that.  Our lawyer told us afterwards that the first thing they teach you as a lawyer is never ask a question you don't already know the answer to.  Apparently Lovely Ex's lawyer didn't pay attention to that portion of school.  I wish I could have had a camera on me when Cory said "yes, as a matter of fact, she has" and proceeded to tell about Lovely Ex coming to his landlord and trying to convince her to give up the keys to Cory's apartment.  The looks on the lawyer's face and Lovely Ex's face were more than I could begin to describe.  Beyond that point, Lovely Ex's lawyer went dramatically downhill.  He tried to bring up a few more points that our lawyer immediately objected to because of relevance, and the court appointment ended with him sulking back to his table, mumbling under his breath "I have no further questions" and then pouting like a four year old.  It was fun to watch. 

Our lawyer was extremely pleased with how things went.  We were able to present all of the points he wanted to make, and were able to begin and end both court appearances with proof of Lovely Ex perjuring herself.  We have submitted numerous examples that Cory was living well beyond his means, and that there just isn't the money there to pay for five doctor visits a month (true story, on more than one occasion) and gymnastics, swim, dance, and preschool for both kids.  We made a very strong case on alimony, and I think he's very confident we shouldn't have to pay that anymore.  Cory remembered everything he was supposed to say, and said it with a confidence and clarity that I know I wouldn't have been capable of.  He is such a great guy, and I'm amazed over and over again by the skills that he has in these areas that I lack. 

I wish I had better news for the ending of court, but things still aren't done.  I think we are at least done with the court appearances, but now both lawyers have to file their final papers and then submit for a judgement.  The judge will then review both sides and all the evidence that has been submitted and make his decision.  We were really hoping he could make a decision today, but I guess he is entitled to do his research.  It's only fair.  It sounds like we should have a decision by the end of July.  I am so done waiting. 

As a final thought, our lawyer made a very interesting comment after court about Shades' supposed profession and it's affect on Lovely Ex and his marriage.  It caught me completely off guard, and I laughed harder than I have laughed in a long time.  It isn't appropriate to share in this venue (because my mom reads this) but it hit me how much he really dislikes Lovely Ex.  In a way, it was comforting.  I know we aren't just another case to him.  He seems to be really invested in us, and I know he will work as hard as he can to make sure things come out as much as possible in our favor.  We get to meet with him again over the next few weeks to prepare our final documents, and then hopefully we'll have a break for a little while.  At least a couple weeks...


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tuesday: My Day For Fun

Today was all about Delinquent Ex.  Cory and I started the morning by going to his drug court review.  I'm not sure how to describe what we saw...  Imagine all the delinquents in the city, and put them all in one room.  This would be very similar to a kindergarten class.  The judge is the kindergarten teacher.  Now, in most kindergarten classrooms, there are teacher's assistants, because it's hard for one teacher to handle all of those students.  Those would be the public defenders.  Cory and I sat in the corner and observed.  Right in front of us, there was a trashy looking boy with his equally trashy looking very pregnant girlfriend who were discussing with their defender why their probation was about to be revoked.  Apparently, there had been some altercation earlier in the week that the cops had been called on.  It was your typical "he hit me first" argument that is so common to elementary schools, complete with the pregnant girlfriend chiming in every ten seconds with "Yeah, after he tried to run me over with his van!  Who tries to run over a pregnant woman!?"  After about ten minutes, I was sympathizing with whoever it was who tried to run her over.  In the other corner was a very large man with rubber gloves on.  He was calling the children up one at a time to go to the bathroom, performing drug tests.  He went in with them to make sure there were no problems.  In the benches everyone was talking, a few were coloring, and there was some pushing and playful fighting going on.  Then the judge entered. 

He walked to the stand, I believe the bailiff asked everyone to stand, but everyone was so loud I don't think half the room heard it.  The judge sat down, and started trying to talk.  "Everyone pay attention, this is very important.  Ok, quiet down...  you all need to listen.  Listen to me, this is important... can everybody hear me?   Ok..."  He then proceeded to tell them, as you would a very small child, that the court for next week was moved to another room in the same building.  He repeated it four times, and then told them that they would put a sign on the door next week just to remind them.  He then repeated those same instructions for every person who came to the stand, and I would say 85% of them acted like they were hearing the information for the first time. 

Putting them through their reviews was... interesting.  The prosecutor would read five names, and about eight people would go to the front.  They would then go through the list again and see who was up there that shouldn't be.  My ex went up with both of the first two groups before his name was finally called with the third.  Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree.  One at a time, they would go to the stand in front of the judge.  The judge greeted every single one of them by name, asked them how they were doing, made small talk for a second, and then asked if they needed anything from the court.  He would then ask them to come to the front for a reminder card of their next appointment.  As each one of them walked to the front to get the reminder, everyone in the courtroom would clap for them.  I wasn't quite sure what they were clapping for..  Walking?  Showing up?  I guess maybe staying clean?  It seemed like a big waste of time to me, but I guess it's cheaper to make them all come to the courthouse instead of sending people out to check on them.  Cory and I were both very grateful when it was over.

We spent the next two hours camped out in a McDonald's so Cory could catch up on some work yay for free wifi!  and then we returned to the courthouse for mediation.  I can't say too much about mediation, but I felt good about it.  Delinquent Ex was pushing for almost immediate visitation, but we were able to agree on a plan that I feel is much more effective on re-introducing him into the kids lives in a slow and productive way.  I have a few obligations I need to tend to over the next few weeks, but it's nice to have us on the same page now so I feel like we're not fighting over everything.  I'm sure he'll still push, he's like a child when he doesn't get his way, but at least now I have the advice of the mediator to follow and it's not just me against him. 

I feel like so far this has been a pretty productive week, and I'm hoping tomorrow follows suit.  Tomorrow is the big one, back in court with Lovely Ex.  I feel like we're ready, and I feel like we have a good case.  It all comes down to what the judge decides.  I'm praying that Cory can remember everything he's supposed to say, and in the way he's supposed to say it.  I pray our lawyer can ask all the right questions to show the judge the things he needs to see.  I pray that Lovely Ex falls in a hole on the way to the courthouse.  Just kidding...  kinda.  Wish us luck!


Monday, June 27, 2011

Monday: The Interview

Yes, today was the interview.  There really isn't much to say about it.  I was on time, I already knew both of the women I was interviewing with, and really enjoy both of them.  It was nice to not be too overwhelmingly nervous.  My tongue only got away from me once which any of you who know me very well will know that's a rare thing.  Flamina!  and for the most part, it went very well.  I've been on the other end of quite a few interviews, and I know what things the people doing the interview look for.  Looking at it from the other side, it was hard for me to gauge how I did.  They didn't seem too impressed with quite a few of my answers, and had to ask quite a few follow-up questions to get the answer they were looking for, even leading me a few times.  I came out not feeling all that well about it.  As I talked to the other people on my team, they told me they had done some investigating for me on Friday, asking questions I hadn't had the nerve to ask.  I found out that for my position they are only interviewing 4 people, one of which applied for both of the open positions.  That is out of 65 applicants.  That made me feel quite a bit better.  Then, towards the end of the day, a little birdie told me that the other interviews today had gone well, but so far I am in the lead.  This could all change as they finish interviews tomorrow and do reference checks, but it helped to hear that today.  At least I have some sort of a shot.  They'll have their decision by the end of the week.

For tonight my focus is on the little things in life.  Dinner being half an hour late because we got in a family tickle fight.  Even Phillip joined in with his "kick-le... kick-le".  Lexie almost not finishing her dinner because she had stuffed herself on vegetables.  What kind of kid does that?  She is something special.  Phillip feeding me his precious animal cookies, and piling them all in  my hands wanting me to eat them.  Family home evening sitting around the table with Lexie conducting the music and Phillip choosing the lesson out of our FHE box.  Cobbler with ice cream for dessert, and Phillip feeding himself ice cream.  Tonight my heart is full of the good things in life, and my focus is on my family.  It feels good to have time to sit back and relax.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sunday: Prep Day

Well, I spent today doing the best thing I could do to prepare for the week ahead of us:  staying in bed watching movies and cuddling with my adorable hubby.  It really helped that I woke up this morning with a pretty bad headache, almost a migraine but as I look back at it I think I decided it wasn't a full blown migraine.  Yesterday was a pretty busy day, and I think I might have overdone it.  Cory had a pretty major paintball game and was gone the majority of the day, so I decided to take advantage of some alone time and get some things accomplished that I've been putting off. 

I got all the documents prepared for Cory's case with Lovely Ex on Wednesday.  This was the second draft.  Our lawyer decided the first ones I put together were far too detailed and it would be too much for the judge to try to absorb.  He told me to do them again, and this time just make them kind of a summary.  He was right, it's much easier to understand this way.  It took me about four hours to get them all the way he wanted them. 

Then, I got the genius idea to attempt to put our new bed frame together.  Cory and I got a new bed a few months ago, and it's a size larger than our previous bed.  We didn't have a frame big enough for it so it's just been sitting on the floor.  I realized as I was pinned between our giant mattress and our giant box springs that maybe I should have waited for Cory.  But I was determined to show the bed who was boss.  I did manage to get it together and get the bed back the way it was supposed to be.  It's about six inches higher now, which is fun to try to remember at 2:30 in the morning when you are getting up to use the bathroom.  It'll take some getting used to. 

Lexie's room was next on my chore chart.  It was DISGUSTING.  I found things in her room I didn't even know she was capable of.  She was growing mold in about three different places, all at different stages.  I will be keeping a much better eye on her room now, and she has some very strict rules.  It took me about five hours to get it all done, but it is beautiful now.  She's even managed to keep it that way for the last 24 hours..  Of course, she's either been not here or asleep for 22 of those hours.  We'll see how long it lasts.

Finally, I went over to my mom and dad's house to have my mom help me fix my pants.  I have some really nice pants that Cory bought me for court last time (when nothing else would fit me) but they were about half an inch too long and they didn't look as nice as I wanted them to while they were dragging on the ground.  My little sis and mom helped me hem them and get them up where they need to be so they will look nice for my interview tomorrow. 

After all that yesterday, it was nice to be able to take the day to just relax.  I literally spent almost all day in bed.  Cory took care of everything and just let me relax, and I'm feeling much better now.  I feel really well prepared for this week, and I think things are going in a good direction.  I know there are many other more productive things I should have been doing today, but I really feel like this is what my body needed.  I'm ready, let's get this show on the road.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Challenge Accepted

So, Cory and I have been planning for a few months to go to Idaho for the 4th of July. It’s kind of a tradition with my family, with a twist this year. Instead of staying in a hotel and enjoying the 4th with my family, we will be staying with Cory’s sister and attempting to split our time between both families. It’s kind of our way of forcing ourselves into my sister’s celebrations, even though she decided she wanted just a little celebration with just her family this year. Silly sister, don’t you know we’ll find a way to crash anyway. I love being able to get away, but traveling always comes with complications, especially when we are taking the kids. The few days leading up to us leaving are always full of cleaning, laundry, packing, etc as we get ready to leave. So, I knew next week was going to be a bit crazy of a week anyway.

Then, when Cory and I went to court for his case with Lovely Ex we had to get it continued for another day. The only day that would work with everyone’s schedule was the 29th of June. Not a big deal. It sucked we had to wait that long, but it gave us time to build up a really good case. We had all of their evidence they presented in court, and we had enough time to discredit almost every single piece. We have spent many hours over the last couple of weeks in our lawyer’s office preparing documents and making copies. We have our final meeting before court with him tomorrow to make sure everything is finalized.

During one of those meetings, my dad called to let me know I had received a very important looking letter from the court at their address, and he wanted to make sure it wasn’t something we needed while we were with the lawyer. I had him open it, and found out Delinquent Ex had filed a request for parent time mediation because I won’t let him see the kids. The date of the mediation is June 28th, in the afternoon. I brought it up to our lawyer, and he pulled Delinquent Ex’s full history. In there, it has all of his case notes and reviews in his ongoing case with court. Our lawyer pointed out that he has another review coming up soon and it might be a good idea to at least write a letter. After talking to a few other people, Cory and I have decided we are going to the review to talk to the judge. The date of the review is also June 28th.. in the morning.

Finally, I just received a very exciting phone call. Remember the job I applied for a week or so ago? I got an interview. I have made it through the first cut, and they have decided they want to meet with me. Honestly, after hearing how many applicants they got, I wasn’t planning on making it this far. I am unbelievably excited, but still trying not to get my hopes up too high. I have almost no experience, no degree. All I have is the recommendation of my boss. But, I’m going to try and I’ll do my best. That’s about all I can give. Oh, did I mention the job interview is on June 27th?

So, my schedule for next week goes Monday: Interview, Tuesday: Court Review/Mediation w/ Delinquent Ex, Wednesday: Court w/ Lovely Ex, Thursday: Cleaning and Laundry, Friday: Packing, Saturday: Baptism/Lunch/Leaving for Idaho. Bring it on. Anyone want to have lunch? I think I have about 15 minutes on Thursday when I can squeeze you in.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Reason All Husbands Want Me

I realize this post may cause some jealousy among other married couples, but I just had to blog how AWESOME I am.  This year, I was able to give my husband the ultimate Fathers' Day Weekend. 

It all started Saturday.  I let him get up early and get going on things while I selflessly took the burden of sleeping in.  Then, when I finally did get up, I decided that every other wife would be making their husband breakfast.. I was going to do something REALLY special.  I let him watch me get ready which I made sure I took extra long on so I would look special for him and then he got to take me out to breakfast.  We went to my former place of employment one of the few that survived the closures where he got to have a few bites of my extra special breakfast.  Not too many though, cause I was hungry.

After that, we went to his favorite store in the whole world so he could return a bag that he really wanted but decided he shouldn't keep, where they made the day even better by letting him know that he got to keep it even longer because he had ordered it online and had to return it while the online store was open.  I let him pick out a few things he wanted, then I let him build up some anticipation by making him wait until he returns the bag to get them.  I did, however, let him buy me a really cool shirt that I love. 

We ended Saturday by ordering Chinese food from my favorite restaurant, and I let him go be a gentleman and pick it up and bring it home for me.  Then, soon after we finished eating, I fell asleep watching a movie which meant he could finally leave and go work on the computer for a while.  He finally came to bed about one.

Sunday morning, the big day, I decided to let him sleep in a little bit by conveniently forgetting to set my alarm.  Then, we also had the added fun of having a race to see if we could get everyone ready for church on time.  It was raining, and I debated for a minute since he'd had so much fun the day before, but I finally decided to let him drop the kids and I off at the door before he parked the car so he could get some quality time in with the rain.  We spent a few hours at church, and then came home where he had the pleasure of fixing us lunch.  After lunch, I decided to give him some alone time with the kids and went upstairs to take a nap.  I slept all the way until dinner time which I, once again, let him fix.  I figured he must like cooking and I don't let him do it very often.  Then, I decided since dinner was so good I would do him the favor of forgetting to give him dessert so he could keep the flavor of the dinner longer.

Did I forget to mention I didn't buy him a present?  I figured with everything else I'd gotten him, he was pretty lucky anyway.  Plus, he does have my love and affection which is all he really needs in order to be happy, right?  Right?!

There you go, ladies!  Take notes.  It doesn't take much to give your husbands the Fathers' Day they deserve.  Just a few steps and you too can have all the husbands wanting you.


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Are We Done Yet?

Short answer:  No..  No end in sight.  We had a four hour appointment with our lawyer today to begin getting things organized for the court date in two weeks.  He has turned me in to a secretary and I got to run around making copies and assembling evidence booklets of all of the things we needed to substantiate our testimony.  I learned I am NOT made to be an organized on-top-of-it person.  I finally got the hang of how things were supposed to be with MUCH help from his fabulous full-time secretary who runs the office and got them at least started.  He has given me about four more assignments that he wants completed by next Friday when we have our final meeting before court.  He tends to give shady direction, so I'm hoping I got the gist of what he wants.  It'll be tons of fun to try to figure out, and I get to play in Excel, one of my favorite things to do.  Yes, I am a computer nerd.  I like to make pretty spreadsheets.  Wanna make something of it?  I figured I'll start tomorrow, and hopefully I can get it all done this weekend.  Cory's assignment is to practice telling his story like a movie of the week.  Our lawyer wants the judge to know the whole story, and not just the little bit that Lovely Ex is trying to tell.  She's trying to make both of us sound like low-life criminals who shirk our responsibilities and broke in to her house in the middle of the night to steal things.  We want the judge to see that all that happened was Cory taking the posessions that belonged to him.  There was no breaking in, it was still his house.  We just went when we knew she wasn't there to avoid another confrontation.  We want the judge to see the desperation behind our actions, and how there was no other way. 

Speaking of low-life criminals shirking their responsibilities, my dad called while we were at the lawyer's office to let me know I had gotten some papers in the mail from the court.  I asked him to open them to make sure it wasn't anything we needed right away, and Delinquent Ex has filed for a court-ordered mediation to try and arrange parent time with the kids.  I had our lawyer pull up Delinquent Ex's history all seventeen pages of felonies and misdemeanors and he told me he feels I am well within my rights to deny parent time.  It was good to hear.  I was worried that I'd be in trouble with the court, but he said any judge would have no problem siding with me on this, at least until he's out of the court system.  But, I still have to go to mediation, and possibly back to court to plead my case.  I might get enough experience in court to be able to pass the bar exam after all..

Still no news on the job.  I don't think I'll hear anything until next week.  They have to have it listed for at least three days, and then review all of the applicants and decide who they want to interview.  I told Cory today that if I can't get everything done this weekend I might request a couple of days off next week without pay of course because my PTO is long gone so that I can get things finished up.  Now I'm thinking that might not be the best idea while I'm trying to appear all professional and reliable so I can get this new job.  Let's just hope I can get it all done this weekend. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

It's In The Works

Not too long ago, I was debating taking a new job.  As of today, the job has officially been posted and my application is in.  The application process was fairly easy.  Before you can apply for a job within the company, you have to create a user profile.  Where I have already gone through the application process, it was pretty much just a review and update.  Still, I was amazed at how much I actually had to change.  My profile was still under my old name, the address listed was my parents' home address.  I had to update my job listing to include my current job.  A quick update to the resumé, and I was ready to submit.  When it came down to that final clicking of the button, I had a little twinge of "should I actually be doing this?"  I have almost no training in the field I'll be going in to.  My manager who is also over the new job seems to think I'll get the hang of it really quickly, and he thinks I'm capable. 

The job listing is pretty broad.  They left it open to pretty much everyone, and with today's economy I'm sure there are tons of people more qualified then me looking for a job.  I do have the advantage of already working closely with the people who are going to be doing the hiring, and they know what my work ethic is.  I'm just worried I'm going to get all excited about getting a new job and start making all these plans and then interview and have them hire someone else.  I'm almost scared to let myself think about what could happen in the next few weeks.  If I don't get the job, not only do I lose the opportunity, I also lose my desk.  Whoever gets the new job will be sitting in my current spot, so if it's not me I'll have to pack up and do the walk of shame over to another cubicle. 

There is so much up in the air right now with our lives I feel like it's kind of selfish of me to add one more thing to stress about to the plate.  Hopefully, if I do get the job, it will relieve some stress in other areas.  I'm hoping it might work it's way in to something where I'll have the availability to work from home some of the time, which will take some stress off Cory and my mom.  I think it could turn in to something really great, something I can get excited about.  I just can't wait to get this whole interview and waiting process over with.  I'm so not patient..

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Let it be

"And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me.
Shine until tomorrow, let it be."

I almost didn't go to church today.  In keeping with the theme of the week, I was exhausted when my alarm went off this morning.  I knew that this was going to happen, so I got everyone as ready as I could last night.  All I had to do this morning was get everybody dressed and do Lexie and my hair.  Still, laying in bed at seven this morning, the last thing I wanted to do was get up.  I hit snooze a few times, and then when I just couldn't go back to sleep again, I laid there and thought.  I thought about how hard life has been lately.  I thought about how much of a struggle church was.  I thought about how good it would feel to just stay in bed and relax all day, and how one Sunday wouldn't really matter.  Then, I thought about all the good stuff Cory and I are working on right now, and how yes, this may only be one Sunday, but one Sunday makes it that much easier for it to turn in to two Sundays.  And then a month, then a year, then why start going back when you haven't gone in so long.  I thought about my mom saying never make a decision on how you feel about the day until after you are out of bed. Otherwise, you'll never get up.  I thought of my brother telling us about his friend who is a runner who said the hardest part of running is getting dressed.  Taking the first step.  I got out of bed today.

It was a good Sunday to go.  The talks today were from the bishopric. and all of the talks seemed to be on overcoming adversity.  At least between struggling with two kids and my own lack of attention, that is what I got out of them.  The bishop was the final one to speak.  For some reason, one of the stories he told in his talk stuck with me.  He told of a young father who lost his wife days after their child was born and became very angry with the situation.  He became bitter, obsessive, fell away from the church, and showed no glimpses of the loving father and husband he had been before.  The stake president called him over to his house one night, and told him simply "Let it be.  What's done is done, and you can't change it.  All you can do is move forward and live your life.  Let it be."  I felt like this was what I needed to hear, this is why I needed to get out of bed today.

Yeah, our situation may suck right now, but for the most part we are happy.  I love my family.  I adore my husband.  My kids are the most that I could ever ask for, and way more than I deserve.  Every day I get to spend with them is a blessing.  Court is inconvenient, but it's not going to dramatically change our lives, regardless of the outcome.  Someone more important than us is in charge, and he knows what the big picture is.  Nothing is going to happen that isn't going to be for a reason, and our time on earth is temporary.  We have all of eternity to look forward to, and after our time on earth is done we'll realize that it was such a small amount of time, and nothing here really matters in the big picture.  God is fair and just, and everything will even out in the end.  For now, we just need to let it be and trust in God. 

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Funk

I have been in the worst funk lately.  And no, I don't mean the music genre that originated in the mid-late 1960s, although that would be considerably more fun.  I mean the kind of funk that normally hits when I have had ENOUGH.  Lately, I've had enough of everything.  I've had enough of my house being a disaster because I am too tired to clean it.  So much so, that it made it to my goal list for this weekend.  It won't happen, but at least it made it to the list.  I'm tired of court cases and lawyer appointments.  I'm tired of being SO tired when I get home from work that I can barely even muster up the energy to feed my family before going to bed.  I was really hoping this would go away once the court crap was over, but I think it was just too much for me to handle hearing that we have to go back AGAIN in two weeks to do it all over again. 

I hate seeing Lovely Ex in court.  She is everything evil in the world all rolled up in to one way too pretty package.  She's the kind of pretty that you just almost feel sorry for.  You can tell when she walks in to court that her appearance and keeping up her "image" is the only thing she cares about.  It has to be exhausting putting that much effort in to getting ready.   Cory said it used to take her at least two hours to get ready every day.  I don't think I've ever taken that long, including on my wedding days..  She has dropped about 60 pounds since the divorce, and she wasn't really that big to begin with.  Watching her walk to the stand in court in her hooker heels that she totally can't walk in with her sad little legs that were almost no bigger than the heels on her shoes I half expected one of them to break out from underneath her.  She sat down on the stand, and I don't know if the court does it on purpose, but they have one bright light shining straight down on the stand so the shadows bring out every hollow spot in your face.  She had huge shadows under her eyes, in her cheeks, and under her chin.  She honestly looked like she was dying.  She sat there looking all sweet and innocent while her lawyer took her through her testimony, and then on cross examination the little devil came out. 

She does not like our lawyer too much.  He has a way of making the truth come out and poking a ton of holes in her neat little story she has worked so hard to put together.  She's trying to paint herself as the victim in all of this, but my lawyer has a whole different image he's trying to portray.  The image where she is a spoiled little rich girl who wants to just walk away from a marriage with both kids and all the belongings and leave Cory with ALL the financial responsibility of paying off their HUGE amount of debt they acquired while they were married.  Plus, he's supposed to support her and the kids for the rest of her life, because God forbid she should actually have to get a JOB. 

I understand that she probably has her own side of the story and her own way of seeing things.  I can't see how someone would knowingly be as horrible as she is, so she has to feel justified in some way.  But I see what she does to Cory when she doesn't let him see his kids, or sits there and tickles them or talks to them while he's trying to talk to them on the phone so they won't talk to him.  I've heard her in court justifying taking all of his money because "he knew what he was signing and he wanted his kids to have the best life possible."  I hope the judge sees that there is no way he would voluntarily make it so he didn't have enough money to buy food because he wanted his kids to be able to take gymnastics and swimming lessons.  I hope he can see the truth.

I apologize for the negativity in this post..  I try not to let myself dwell on the bad things in life for too long, because nothing good comes of feeling bad for yourself.  I was hoping by getting all of this crap out in to the world and out of my head I could put it behind me and move on.  These are what has been filling my head for the last week, and last night things reached a boiling point where I just couldn't hold it in anymore.  I promise to be back to my positive, sarcastic self by next time.  It just needed to come out. 

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

So, How Do You Define Our Relationship?


Facebook has become kind of an addiction of mine.  We have a love/hate relationship.  I love the instant connection, the way you can find just about anybody, and the little peeks you can get in to everyone's lives.  There is a thin line between past-time and obsession, however.  I may or may not have crossed this line.  I have gone through multiple purges of my friends list, deleting people that I thought didn't really need to know everything about my life, only to re-add them a week later because Facebook is really boring if you don't have any friends.  Plus, who needs that constant reminder that the girl you hated in high school has 532 friends, and you have...35.  Yes, she was more popular then, and guess what, she's more popular now.  I have debated whether or not to deactivate my account but just haven't been able to make that leap.  This week Facebook turned from a minor annoyance to a full on panic attack-causing nightmare. 

About six months ago, I sent Delinquent Ex a message on Facebook.  This was NOT a very smart thing to do.  About a month ago he started sending me messages on Facebook telling me that I was being a horrible parent for denying him parent time with "his children", and how dare I try to stand between him and "his kids".   I told him in not very nice words that it was not my choice to have him out of the kids lives, and it was not my choices that made it so he couldn't see them.  He did not like that answer, and filed an Order to Show Cause with the court to hold me in contempt for denying him his parent time.  It looks like another court battle is in our future.  I sent him another message on Facebook asking exactly what it was that he wanted, and he said he would like to have a couple phone conversations with the kids before Father's Day "so it won't be such a shock when they see him."  I told him that there is no way in hell the kids are going to see him on Father's Day, they will not be talking to him on the phone until the terms that are defined in his court program are met, and I would see him in court to debate over whether or not he is actually entitled to parent time.  I then blocked him.

I know that I won't be given any obstacles in life that I am not able to overcome, but seriously?  Couldn't I have a week off?  I would like to be able to get a good night's sleep without having to knock myself out.  I would like to have a week go by without nightmares that something is happening in regards to one of the court cases. I would like to have a morning where I'm not dying for caffeine because I didn't sleep well again.  I would like to have a month where we don't have to make a lawyer payment.  And as long as I'm dreaming, I'd like a pony...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Big Decisions


Friday afternoon my boss called me in to his office for a one on one.  These don't happen very often, and I was a little concerned, especially when he told me to close the door.  My mind immediately started racing back through the last two weeks to see what I had done to get me in trouble.  I had taken a lot of time off lately, maybe that was it.  Court had taken a lot out of me, and I hadn't been working as hard as I normally do, maybe I wasn't being as productive as he needed me to be.  Maybe I had offended him with one of my comments.  I have a very sarcastic sense of humor, and my boss is normally the target of my sarcasm during meetings..  My mind was going so fast, I almost missed what he had said.

"What?"  "How close are you to your bachelor's degree?"  It was an odd question.  I had mentioned to him a few times that I had started going to school to be an accountant almost a full lifetime ago it seemed, but I had dropped out when I got pregnant with Lexie.  When she was about six months old, I started toying around with the idea of going back.  I requested some information from a few different schools, and found out a week later that I was pregnant with Phillip.  I decided that unless I wanted to have ten kids I should probably drop the idea of going back to school for awhile.  "I don't even have my associates yet," I told him.  "Ok, so we'd probably need to make the entry level for this job a level 9."  Crap, I had no idea what he was talking about.  He started reading through a list of qualifications.  Good working knowledge of the computer systems we use, independent worker, good grasp of the accounting process, five years experience with the company or the equivalent.  I told him I thought I met everything on the list, except for the five years experience.  "I'm really close," I said.  "I know, July 25th.  That was the first thing I checked," was his response.  "You're close enough."

Come to find out, my boss and a new supervisor he hired underneath him want me to switch departments and work for the accounting department for our corporation.  It is a brand new department, I would be the second member of the team that will ultimately have five people.  Originally, they had discussed listing all four jobs at an Accountant 1 level, 4 levels above what they were considering listing it at so I would be eligible.  As they were talking about possible candidates for the team, my name came up.  They feel I have the knowledge, my previous experience in the patient account side would bring knowledge to the team that a standard accountant wouldn't have. and they feel I would be an asset to the team.  He called me in to his office to make sure if they lowered it that they had a guarantee I would apply.  I asked if I could have the weekend to think about it.

My heart is feeling sad at the possibility of leaving the department that I've been a part of for so long.  We are right in the middle of quite a few projects that have been my babies over the last couple of years.  I feel sad about not seeing them through to completion.  At the same time, the possibility of being part of something new is exciting to me, and the fact that my supervisor is manipulating things so that I can be eligible is flattering.  He says he has no doubt that I can do the work that is required, even without the necessary credentials.  He said I'm bright, capable, and quick.  I'm worried that I'm going to switch jobs and absolutely hate it, but I really feel like I need to give it a shot.  I have to give him my answer tomorrow morning.  I'm leaning towards telling him yes, but I'm going to wait and see how my heart feels in the morning.  I might not get much sleep tonight.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

All Dressed In White

Today was a very full day: full of spirit, full of family, full of love.  Lexie was baptized today, a decision that we have been trying to work out for a few months now.  She became eligible when she turned 8, but the dates that were arranged for the baptism just wouldn't work with our schedule.  I didn't realize we were that busy of a family, but as we tried to work our schedule around something else I realized just how much stuff we've had going on lately.  Today, it finally happened, and I think it was a very special day for all who were involved.

She wore the same dress I was baptized in at 8 years old, and was even baptized in the same font that I was.  The spirit was very strong before, during, and after and I had a very hard time controlling my emotions as I watched my first child to be baptized become a member of the church.  She was baptized by Cory, a sweet experience that I was not prepared for.  My emotions became too much for me to deal with as I watched the man I love more than I ever dreamed possible take my daughter by the hand and say those precious words.  We had discussed before how important it was for her to keep her body very still and make sure that it all went under.  She did a perfect job, and with Cory's help she only had to be dunked under once.  She was glowing when she came up, radiant in her joy of finally getting to be baptized.  My mom got the standard "standing there dripping wet fresh out of the font" picture, and then we hurried and dried her off. 

She was confirmed by my dad, surrounded by worthy priesthood holders as she was given the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Once again, the spirit was so strong I couldn't contain my tears, this time letting them freely flow.  Once it was done, Cory and I both got the chance to bear our testimonies to her.  She kept saying that she was born again, and she's clean.  She really seems to get it.  We came home and changed, and then we all went out to lunch to celebrate.  When we got back, Lexie went in to her room to play and I didn't see her again until dinner.  She stayed out with the family until it was time for bed, and when I went in to check on her she had written letters and drawn pictures and they were hanging all over her room.  They said things like "you need to follow the directions or you won't do it right", "I say unto you, receive the Holy Ghost", and pictures of her in the font getting baptized, complete with the tiles on the wall and everything.  I hope this feeling stays with her forever. 

She is such a sweet little girl.  I am so lucky to have her.  I am so proud of her for making this decision, and I love the person she is becoming.  She reminds me every day how important it is to keep trying to be better, and helps me become the person that I want to be for my family.  There is no greater gift in this world then getting to be a mom, and I get to be a mom to the greatest kids.  She is so special, and I'm so glad I get to share these special experiences with her.  She keeps me on track, and I hope I get to help her do the same as she gets older.  I love her, she is my little girl.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Day 2: Success!!

Today was AWESOME.  I totally love my attorney.  Today's court was on Delinquent Ex's debt that I royally screwed up on back in January.  I was served papers during the crazy week between Christmas and New Years when we had Cory's kids and family in town letting me know that Express Recovery was seeking a judgement against Delinquent Ex and I for a huge dental debt that Delinquent Ex hadn't paid.  I read the papers, called the attorney's office, tried to talk with them, and they told me all I could do was write a letter to them letting them know that we had been separated and then show up for the court date.  Well, time got away from me and I totally forgot about it.  I WILL NOT be making that mistake again.  EVER.   I received notification of the judgement a few weeks later, and still did nothing.  Two weeks after I received the judgement, my paycheck was garnished.  A lot.  I called the attorney's office who was handling it, and they told me the amount of the total debt.  With the amount they were taking off each paycheck, it would take me about seven months to pay it off. 

I did all the necessary things I needed to do to attempt to stop them, and today was the final step--a hearing to overthrow the original judgement.  I made a last minute decision to have our attorney from Cory and Lovely Ex's case come represent me, and he did an amazing job.  He had researched everything, quoted the law way better than I could have, and he won us the case.  The collection attorney has to pay us back almost all of the amount that he's garnished from my paychecks, with the exception of the first one.  That one is being handled differently because that payment had already been made back to Express Recovery.  We have some additional paperwork we have to file, but we should be able to collect that amount in a few weeks.  Best part?  They have to stop the garnishment IMMEDIATELY.  Our pay day is Friday.  I'm excited to see if I actually get a full paycheck this week.  Cory and I went grocery shopping on the way home to celebrate. 

As an interesting twist, our judge today was the same judge who is handling Cory and Lovely Ex's case.  It was very nice to see how he handled today's case.  He said that although technically the law was on the side of the collections attorney, my lawyer had made a fair case and he decided to rule on the side of justice and ruled in our favor.  Not only was that a huge relief today, it gave us great hope that things will go similarly in our other case.  I'm just happy it's over, and now hopefully things can get back to normal until the end of the month when we go back to court.