Sunday, August 28, 2011

If I Never See The Darned Constable Again...

Waking up this morning to the constable banging on my front door was not exactly the wake up call that I wanted.  Delinquent Ex has decided that he is not happy with the way things are being handled which ironically enough is exactly the way we discussed in mediation so he has served me with a summons to hold me in contempt of court for denying him his parent time with the kids.  I am fairly confident we have a strong case in this one, but it just sucks that now we have to pay ANOTHER lawyer's fee, take ANOTHER day off work, make ANOTHER trip to court, and start this whole danged process ALL OVER AGAIN.  Grr...

So, back to court we go.  This time our court date is just a little over a week away.  There isn't much time to prepare, but at least hopefully this one won't get dragged out like our case with Lovely Ex has been. 


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Things We Think and Do Not Say

Impulse control is one of the areas I very strongly lack in.  Cory mentioned a few times when we first met, eons of time before we even started dating, that he was amazed that I could just say what I was thinking without any thought to what situation I was in or what was going on.  He asked me if I was ever worried about it affecting my job, seeing as how that was the only environment he saw me in and most of the meetings that we had together were... far from professional behavior-wise.  I would say things in meetings with multiple other people that make me cringe looking back at it.  He inspired me to do better, to be more professional, and to actually think before I talked.

Once I got the work behavior down, I thought my job was done.  It was only recently that I learned my next important lesson.  Family and friends are even more important then work, and words can not be unsaid.  I have lost members of my family over the fact that I thought the words that I was thinking were things that they NEEDED to hear regardless of the outcome or what their reaction would be when they heard it.  The thing that hurt the worst was what it did to my mom to have us fight.  It is out of respect for her that I attempt to be civil. 

I am still learning.  I know there are things that I have said that I shouldn't have to multiple people, and all I can say is at least I'm aware and I'm working on it.  I can't guarantee perfection, but I'm trying.  Honestly, though, if you could all hear the first reactions that I have in my head to things people say or things that they post on facebook for the love..  I'm so ready to be done with Facebook you would be very proud of me for the things that I don't say.  Some still escape, but it's normally the very edited version of what is going on inside my head.  Cory is the only one now who gets to hear what my true and honest thoughts are.  What can I say, he knew what he was getting in to.


Saturday, August 20, 2011

My Broken Down Life

It started with the car.  I haven't had any major problems with it before, but the last week or so it seems like it's falling apart.  On the way to our weekend getaway last weekend the ABS light came on and won't go away.  The cruise control won't work.  The passenger side air vent sounds like a cricket is stuck in it.  The tire light stays on even though none of the tires are flat.  Now, it's a struggle to get it out of park.  The car won't recognize that you are pressing on the brake, and it locks from shifting it in to gear. 

Next it was Lexie's DS.  Mae Mae bought it for her two years ago.  She has been pretty careful with it, and we don't let her play it very often.  On Friday when we picked her up from Grandma's house after work she was crying.  She said she was trying to play a game and her DS keeps saying that there is no game inserted.  She tried it with multiple games and got the same results.  After consulting the Nintendo website, it sounds like it is a lost cause. 

Then it was the iPod.  It says it is fully charged when we attach it to the charger, but when we take it off of the charger it won't turn on.  It's Lexie's iPod, and she loves music.  One of her favorite things to do is go in her room and turn on her music.  She loves to sing along with all the songs while she's playing, and I love being able to control what she is listening to. 

After that came the camera.  It has had an error on it for quite a while whenever we turn it on.  A certain husband who will remain nameless was being chased around the house by a certain brother of his who will also remain nameless and he had the camera in his pocket.  It apparently turned on during the scuffle, and the lens got bent and now it won't work right.  The incident did result in some classic mid action chase shots though.  I googled the error that was coming up on the camera, and all of the forums I read said to whack the camera a couple of times on a hard surface and turn it off and back on.  I tried it a few times to no avail, and then a final one that I read said that he had to whack it quite hard to get whatever was wrong inside of it to work correctly.  I am not comfortable admitting to what happened beyond that point.  Let's just say there are a few more things to add to the list of things that are now broken.

And finally, the last straw, our stupid garbage can broke.  I know, in the big picture of things, none of these are very major (except the car, which luckily is still under warranty) but it seems like everything around me is falling apart.  I seem to have aquired some skill for breaking everything I touch.  Please, for the love of all things holy, no one ask me to hold any children or handle any priceless family heirlooms until I can figure out how to get rid of this. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Light Switch Flipped

I FINALLY feel like I am getting the hang of my new job.  Up until this week, I have felt like my head was swimming trying to keep everything straight.  I know where the numbers go, and I know what the end result is supposed to be, but up until now when the end result didn't match what it was supposed to I had no idea where to go to try to find out what went wrong and why.  Something finally clicked this week and it felt like I knew what I was looking at.  I was able to resolve a few variances without having to ask for help, and when the numbers didn't match I knew what reports to go run and where to double check to see what the problem was.  I am no where near being an expert, but at least I feel like I am contributing something now instead of holding everyone back.  I have actually had two days of completely independent work.

The jury is still out on whether or not I'm going to end up LOVING this job like I did my last one.  This one is significantly easier.  It frustrates me that I was so good at my last job, and I loved it, but I had to leave it because I needed the room to advance.  I really felt like I made a difference in my last job, and I'm really hoping I get to that point in this job.  It's not a job I'm ever going to hate, I know that much.  I get to make sense of numbers.  I get my own hospitals that I am responsible for, start to finish.  I get to make their numbers clean and pretty.  I know I will like that part.  I can see myself doing this for quite a while.  I'm hoping that I can gain the understanding of this job like I had for my last one.  I like to know all the ins and outs of what I am doing and why.  It seems to be coming, here's hoping my brain can keep up with all there is to learn. 

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Little Birthday Getaway

For my birthday this year, Cory and I decided to take a little trip.  It all started out innocently enough.  We were driving home from work and saw a billboard that was advertising my all-time favorite comedian would be doing a live show about two hours away.  I mentioned to Cory that I would like to go see that, but figured it probably wouldn't happen.  It would involve a night away from the kids, money for tickets and a hotel room, driving there and back.  Well, my sweet husband decided that it was something we would try and do, and all the pieces fell in to place.  We were able to get a package deal with a hotel room and tickets to the show for a fairly reasonable price, Mae Mae agreed to take the kids.  My new boss agreed to let me off a little bit early so we could make it there for the show. I was SO excited. 

Then, a few weeks later, we passed by the exact same billboard.  This time it was advertising another concert in the same concert hall for the night after.  It was a musician that Cory loves, and he really wanted to see him.  We got online to check ticket prices, and it was actually a fairly cheap show.  Tickets were still available, but then we got in to the problem of needing a hotel room for another night.  This was a problem.  There was a rather large racing event going on for the same weekend as both concerts, and virtually every hotel room in town was booked.  We called multiple hotels and found out the only thing they had available was a mini suite at WAY more than we wanted to pay for a hotel room.  We decided to get tickets for the concert anyway, and we could either sleep in the car or drive the two hours back home after the concert. 

We were talking to Mae Mae about the weekend, finalizing plans with the kids, and we told her that we would be back early Sunday morning because we couldn't afford to get a hotel room for Saturday night.  She gave us the money, and told us that it isn't very often that we get to have a weekend away without family being involved, and she wanted us to go have a good time.  We didn't need much convincing.  We called the hotel, booked the mini suite, and headed out.  We got to the hotel in plenty of time for the show.  The comedian was HILARIOUS, doing mostly his rehearsed routine, but did some improv stuff that almost had me falling out of my chair. 

After the show was over, we went back to the hotel, spent some time in the casino, and then headed upstairs for some relaxation.  We both slept great that night, and woke up the next morning with a whole day ahead of us and no plans until the concert that night.  We decided to drive the ten miles out of town and check out the racing events.  It was fun.  Cory enjoyed seeing all of the modified cars, and we got to see a few speed down the salt.  One of the staff at the event told us that some would get going over 400 miles an hour.  I can't believe people actually go that fast.

After spending a few hours out on the salt, we came back and had a nice dinner and then headed out to the concert hall for the next concert.  I have to admit I wasn't really looking forward to this one.  It was a musician I had heard of but I wasn't familiar with any of his music.  I was going for Cory.  But as I sat there in the dark listening to him play the songs that he had written with nothing more than a guitar and a friend playing backup I fell in love with his songs.  More than that, I fell even more in love with my husband watching the way he reacted to the songs.  He is so passionate about so much in life, and I see things in a whole new light watching them through his eyes. 

After the concert, we headed back to the hotel for one more night, and then headed home Sunday morning completely relaxed and refreshed.  It was a great weekend.  I missed my kids, but it was great getting to spend some quality alone time with my husband.  I couldn't have asked for anything more. 

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Disappointment in a New Form

Cory and I had another meeting with our lawyer yesterday.  I am so beyond ready to be done with court crap.  It was a very disheartening meeting.  We found out that neither lawyer had submitted for a decision in Cory and Lovely Ex's respective orders to show cause.  We had submitted our Findings of Fact and Conclusions of Law on July 15th.  I'm not sure why no one had taken the next step, but I figured that with how anxious Lovely Ex was to get things taken care of and get the money she feels she's entitled to that she would have been pushing her lawyer to submit.  I'm hoping wondering if she finally realized that she doesn't have a very strong case and so she isn't so anxious to get things going on it.  It looks like it'll be at least a few more weeks before we hear anything back on that.

In other bad news, it turns out the garnishment that was coming out of my paycheck on Delinquent Ex's debt isn't quite taken care of.  We won when we went to court, but as the lawyer explained yesterday that doesn't mean it is over.  All that did was reset the case.  The other lawyer had won because I failed to file an answer to his original paperwork, and all that happened when we went to court was the judge overturned the win and made it so I get another chance to fight them on it.  I had really hoped everything was done with that.  But no, there will be more court dates, more lawyer fees, and more crap that we have to deal with. 

I think my thick skin is developing.  Things don't seem to get to me as bad as they did when we first started all of this.  I have gotten to the point where I am no longer having imaginary conversations with Lovely Ex in my head, telling her everything I will probably never get a chance to tell her.  Up until recently I have felt like the good moments weren't truly good because we always had stuff hanging over us that we were trying to deal with.  I feel like things are starting to shape up.  I can't wait for all of this to be over.  At the very least, I know that the most we will have to deal with this is only for the next 15 years.  It's nice at least having an end point.. 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Baby Boy

I can't believe he is seven years old.  SEVEN.  My mind reels at the fact that this little boy that I get to be mommy to, who is still so much a baby, has been in my life for seven years.  While most moms of boys turning seven are thinking about sports, second grade, and homework, I am thinking about first words, potty training, and eye contact.  I wouldn't change it for anything.  He is so easy to love.  Every little bit of interaction that we get from his is golden.  He has the most honest belly laugh I have ever heard, and he isn't afraid to share it with the world.  He loves life.

He has been getting closer and closer to talking lately.  He will mimic all of the time, repeating words right after we say them.  When we can catch what word he is mimicking, we will repeat it right back to him.  He'll say it again, and give you this smile and laugh that let you know that for just a second you have connected with him.  We will usually drag this out for as long as possible, repeating the words back to him for as long as he's willing to play.  I'm sure the world would think we're crazy if they could see inside our lives at these moments, all of us sitting around repeating the same word over and over, followed each time by all of us laughing.  His laugh is too contagious for us to not laugh right along with him. 
 
He is my angel.  He makes me slow down and enjoy being a mom.  I think in life it's so easy to put things off when you should be paying attention.  Phillip is my reminder that these moments are fleeting.  He puts things in perspective, and helps me see the world for what is really important.  I am so blessed that he is part of our family, and I love him so much. 

Thursday, August 4, 2011

When Is It Appropriate To Wear Hooker Heels?

I have been doing a whole lot of analyzing lately of Lovely Ex.  Trying to make myself see things from her point of view, trying to put myself in her shoes.  I figured if I can see her as a person and try to see things how she does then maybe I won't hate her so much.  If I can see the reasons behind why she does the things that she does maybe I'll be able to understand a bit better when she does things that seemingly make no sense.  There is one little problem with this..  she's crazy.

Example # 1:  We are currently in the middle of a huge court battle where she is trying to make Cory pay for some unpaid medical bills and extra-curricular activities that he has been unable to pay.  I did the math before court when I was preparing all the documents for our case.  In total, she is wanting him to pay back a little less than three thousand dollars.  In her attempts to get this three thousand dollars, she has paid close to ten thousand dollars in lawyer fees, paid for three separate flights here to appear in court, and countless other expenses like renting cars, food for while she's here, etc.  In response to her papers taking us to court, we filed papers of our own asking that she pay back all the alimony she's been paid in the time since she got married.  It is currently close to seven thousand dollars.  So, in her attempts to get what she feels she's entitled to, she will most likely end up paying about five times that. 

Example # 2:  She has sent both Cory and I countless emails and texts harassing us about everything under the sun.  She has called us both every name she could come up with not a huge variety, her English isn't the greatest and has tried everything she can think of to make us feel like crap.  When that doesn't work and she doesn't get a reaction from us, she creates her own "harasser" and then yells at us for not leaving her alone.  This has happened at least twice. 
  1. When Cory and I first met, she told Cory that someone was harassing her on facebook and calling and harassing her over the phone.  She was never able to provide any proof of this.  I, however, was receiving daily messages on facebook that I was responding to, assuming it was Lovely Ex.  She swore up and down that it wasn't her, and that she was receiving the same messages from someone else.  Eventually the messages stopped, but three months later when she got really pissed off at Cory, she quoted one of the messages I had sent to this "other person".
  2. She recently sent a huge email to Cory's entire family stating that someone on facebook was harrassing her and her family using a fake name, and we all needed to grow up and leave her alone.  She went on and on about how sad we were and how we all needed to get a life and she was so glad she had "moved on and was away from horrible people like us."  Once again, after court when she got mad, she sent Cory an email from an email account under the same name that had been harrassing her on facebook.  It's my belief that she created this fictional person on facebook so she could generate some drama and have a reason to yell at Cory again.
Example # 3:  She has made it very obvious that she does not want Cory to be in their kids lives.  She refuses to let him see them, limits their phone calls with him, states that her web cam is "broken" when he wants to do a video chat with them, and sends him messages and videos of their kids calling her new husband "daddy."  She has done everything she can to hurt him and try to sever the ties between them.  However, whenever the kids do something bad (which is a lot), she texts or emails Cory and tells him that it's his fault they are misbehaving and it's his influence that is making them act this way. 

I give up.  I am done trying to figure her out.  She is a walking contradiction, and it hurts my head.  She is a hypocrite, a liar, and just an overall horrible person.  I figure I have done everything I can do to see things from her point of view.  If it takes this much work to get inside a person's head, maybe inside their head is not the place I want to be. 
 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

M.I.A.

Yes, I know, I've been MIA lately.  I have a good reason.  Oh...  You want to know what it is.  Well, you see first there was this big tree....  and it had a monkey on it..  and...  shoot.  Ok, I really don't have an excuse, other then the fact that I started my new job.  I've been attempting to train on a bunch of things that really don't make a whole bunch of sense to me.  I have a trainer who is attempting to stay on top of all that she is responsible for while she is training me, and it's not really working out very well.  I've been doing a lot of entertaining myself which is never a good thing at work, I tend to get in trouble a lot and not having anything to do for 8 hours a day REALLY makes the day drag.  By the time I get home I feel like I have spent about 15 hours sitting in front of the computer and the last thing I want to do is get back on the computer and update my blog.  So, today we are multi-tasking, ie updating my blog while attempting to entertain myself at work.  Shh, don't tell.

There isn't really much to update on.  We are playing the waiting game again in the court department.  We have an appointment on Friday with our lawyer to finalize things with my garnishment and submit for a decision in Cory's case.  Then, we get to wait again for the judge to make a decision.  I'm SO ready for this to all be over. 

My parents are out of town for two weeks, so Phillip's teacher from school has been nice enough to babysit the kids.  The first morning was a little rough.  Phillip isn't used to seeing her in our house, so it was a little out of his routine, but he seemed to adjust well and they had a good day.  Yesterday, he had a couple meltdowns.  Laura keeps them busy and they have a lot of fun, but I think he was just DONE by the end of the day.  She brought him home and gave him some alone time in the playroom, and he seemed to calm down.  Last night when I was getting him ready for bed after his shower about an hour and a half before his normal bedtime I finished putting his diaper and pajamas on and he climbed in to my lap and started singing me his bedtime song.  I think he was ready for bed.  I still kept him up another hour so he wouldn't be up at four, and he went straight to sleep when I finally put him down.  Both he and Lexie slept all the way through the night, and I actually had to wake Phillip up this morning, which almost never happens.

I think all of the useless feelings at work have carried over in to my home life, and I've kind of been a bear lately.  I've tried to keep it under control, but I can feel myself being a lot more snappy and less "nice", and I'm ready for it to be over.  Normally I can put up with almost anything, but the simplest little things are really pissing me off lately.  Hopefully once I get back in the swing of things and start feeling productive at work things will improve in other areas too.  If not, I may need to start being medicated again.  Hmm, that might be fun...