Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Curly Sue, All Grown Up

It's amazing how fast time goes.  It seems like only yesterday we were here.  It's been almost a year.  Little Lexie has been curly for as long as I can remember.  Her hair is naturally curly to begin with, and she's had a few perms to make it even curlier.  With me having curly hair too, it's something I knew how to deal with.  Wet it down, throw in some mousse, and pull it up in a ponytail or a messy bun.  It wasn't the caliber of hairstyles my incredibly talented cosmetologist sisters have created on their little girls, but at least it was out of her face and somewhat decent.  It was familiar, and I liked it.

Lexie, on the other hand, wanted hair like all of her friends had.  She wanted to be able to wear her hair down.  She wanted bangs.  She wanted straight hair.  I told her next time her Aunt Kell came down we would talk to her and see if she had any ideas on what we could do with her hair.  Well, she came and stayed with us last week, and she brought her hair stuff.  We had a little brainstorming session as she played with Lexie's hair.  I told her Lexie wanted bangs, and she advised against it.  She said I would hate it.  I knew she was right.  Lexie's curly sue hairdo would not allow for bangs.  She recommended we try some short layers since her hair needed to be cut anyway, and see how that went.  So, in to the kitchen we went.  Kell knew exactly what she was doing.  She took a LOT of hair off, and Lexie's curls bounced up so cute now that they didn't have all that weight on them. 

Then, she got to the stubborn sides.  They just wouldn't go right.  If they were in the back it wouldn't have mattered, but they were right on the sides of her head.  She told me again what we had discussed before, that chemical treatments were the best way to get that hair under control.  But perms take FOREVER and none of us like having to spend that much time on it.  Then she got a brilliant idea.  Chemical straightener.  Lexie wanted straight hair anyway, and the chemicals would smooth out the sides of her hair.  Also, with straight hair, Lexie would be able to have the bangs and straight down hair she wanted. 

Three trips to the beauty supply store, a few discussions with the experts, and a quick forty minute treatment later, and Lexie's hair was STRAIGHT.  It is better then I ever could have imagined.  I figured if anything it would smooth out the sides and take her perm out, but there isn't even any natural curl left.  Plus, with all the dead ends and weight off, it was so much healthier and softer.  We let it air dry Saturday night, and Sunday morning I tucked the ends under with a curling iron.  My little girl has suddenly grown up.  The little curly haired girl that has been my sidekick for the last eight years has all of a sudden changed in to this little pre-teen.  She loves her hair, and can't leave it alone.  Every reflective surface becomes a mirror, and her hands are constantly in her hair. 

I'm still learning the challenges of doing straight hair compared to curly.  It's a little different in the mornings now.  But this is a good sign of things to come.  Straight hair will be easier for her to take care of.  We can do chemical treatments quicker and more frequently now, and it won't be too long before Lexie will be able to do her hair herself.  I'm having a hard time letting go of my little girl, but I guess this day had to come sooner or later. 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

A Fine Line

It seems like life is a fine line lately.  There is balance in all things, and trying to find that balance is rough.  Cory and I have been communicating with both Lovely Ex and Delinquent Ex way more then we ever have in the past, and it's difficult.  Every email goes through multiple revisions, multiple edits, and multiple "scrap it and start it over" moments.  Every thing that we say has to be looked at from every angle and seen if it can be twisted and used against us in any way.  Simple sentences sound like they've been barfed out of a legal dictionary.  What starts out as "piss off and go to hell" turns in to "although I can see you have learned the error of your ways I still lack confidence in your ability to be a competent caregiver to our children".  Things that should be commonly understood in any decent divorce and shouldn't require more than a request turn in to pleadings to whatever minuscule amount of decency might be in a person.  "I haven't seen my kids in a year and this is supposed to be my holiday, you heartless wench" turns in to honey-sweet pleadings to appeal to vain narcissism in an attempt to reach some sort of agreement.  It's exhausting.

On the plus side, all of this communicating has had an amazing affect on our marriage.  Talking to Cory is my escape from everything else in life.  When I have to struggle so hard in court, in emails, and at work to keep things decent, clear, and concise it's nice to come home to Cory and be able to talk about whatever we want and get to say anything that pops in to our heads without having to edit it, rewrite it, and reword it multiple times.  Being accepted for exactly what you are has never been so refreshing, and I hope I never take it for granted.