Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Baby Teeth: The Saga Continues

About a year ago, I posted this post about Lexie's teeth and the trouble we were having with them.  To recap, she was born without two of her permanent teeth and her baby teeth needed some help to keep them in as long as possible until she's old enough to do implants.  We spent quite a bit of time at the dentist's office having him put two TINY little crowns on her baby teeth to help protect them and make them look like permanent teeth.  It was fairly expensive, fairly tedious, and not my idea of how to spend a day.  But, they looked great and she was happy with them. 

Fast forward about a year and a half, and we are having issues.  The crowns that the dentist put on her were peeling off her teeth.  Literally.  It started with her left tooth.  She had a little hole in it, right at the top of her tooth, and food would get stuck in it all the time.  I told her to brush it really good so it wouldn't hurt her baby tooth underneath, and we'd just see how it went.  So she brushed it really well and about two weeks later that little hole had turned in to a big hole that you could see her baby tooth through.  So I called her dentist and was told that they had problems with those crowns not being sturdy and they would replace them at no charge, but the soonest he would be able to see her was in two weeks.  Two days later, the crown completely peeled off her tooth.  I had forgotten how little her baby teeth were, plus they had been drilled a little bit so the dentist could fit the crowns on.  She had this tiny little nub, and couldn't eat anything because her tooth was hurting her.  This was on a Saturday of course, so her dentist wasn't open.  I considered it an emergency so I called the dentist anyway, and was informed by the answering machine that he was out of town and would return in a week, but there was another dentist who would be seeing patients with emergencies.

Cory and I talked about it a bit, and we figured if we were going to have to go to a different dentist anyway we wanted to go to the dentist who handled Cory and I.  We had been talking for a while about switching the kids over to him now that they are a bit older (Lexie's dentist is a pediatric dentist) but hadn't decided officially.  I called him and got his cell phone number from his answering machine, took a deep breath, and called his cell phone.  I got his voicemail, and left a message about what was going on.  He called me back five minutes later and we discussed everything.  He told me that there is dental glue in the grocery store and I could go get some and just glue it back on.  I told him that there was nothing left of the crown to glue back on, it had completely peeled off in pieces.  He told me that there was no question then, we had to get her in to get it replaced right away.  He said he could meet me at his office, and did I want to do it now or was I comfortable waiting until later.  I told him I could wait and he said he was "going to finish the movie he was at with his family" and he'd meet me at his office at seven, and hour and a half later. 

So Lexie and I went and met him at his office, which he opened just for us, and I watched as he carefully matched the color of her other teeth and fabricated her another tooth, taking time to try it on her tooth and shape it about five times until it was just right, and then he glued it in.  He took a look at her other tooth and told me that one was coming off also and did I want him to replace the other one.  I felt bad that we had already taken up so much of his time and had to cut in to his Saturday and told him we had an appointment with her dentist in a week, and he had told us he'd be able to replace it for us.  Where they were his crappy crowns I wanted him to take responsibility for it.  He told me that the crown that he had put on should be good and that the dentist shouldn't need to replace it.  I told him I hadn't had a chance to check with our insurance to see what they would cover, and he told me not to worry about it, he wouldn't charge us anything.  I told him I wanted him to get paid for coming in and doing the work, and again he told me he would make sure we didn't have to pay anything, and we could talk about it later.

So we went home and went to bed, and a week and a half later we had her appointment with her official dentist.  We got her in there, and the dentist peeled up what was left of her other crown and replaced it with another prefabricated crown, this one not plastic.  They numbed her up and gave her laughing gas and all that other expensive stuff, and the crown looked great.  Then he turned to me and said "we're only going to charge you half price for this one because the last one was defective."  What!?  I was told on the phone that I wouldn't be charged for it, our insurance won't cover any of it because they only cover a crown once every five years, and he's going to make us pay out of pocket for a defective crown that HE put on. Oh, I was NOT happy.  But, because I'm nonconfrontational, I didn't say anything.  I figured we'd wait and get the denial back from the insurance and see if they actually sent us a bill before we freaked out on them.  Cory got an earful though.  He's so patient with me. 

So, now Lexie has mismatched teeth, but at least they are both protected.  We'll see how long we can keep these on.  Oh the fun we get to have with her genetics. 

Monday, July 2, 2012

Our Love Story Must Be GREAT!

The way I figure it, the better the love story, the better the villain, right?  So if Cory and my love story has three and a half villains I figure Shades is only a half then our love story must be one of the best.  We've had the discussion a few times that our life would be really pretty boring without Lovely Ex, Delinquent Ex, Shades and Parole Violation Barbie to liven things up.   

We had dinner tonight with Delinquent Ex and PVBIt was not something I was looking forward to.  I posted quite a while ago about how blessed I was that they had broken up because it meant my kids were protected from her.  Well, apparently, them breaking up and her attacking him was not a serious enough act for them to stay broken up and they got back together a month later.  Maybe it's just me, but if someone broke my nose and tried to bite my ear off it would take quite a while, if ever, for me to want them back in my life.  But, I can't make his decisions for him.

Delinquent Ex wrote a letter to my lawyer about a month ago letting her know that I was not complying with the arrangements that we had made in court and asking her to please remind me that I needed to follow the order.  That was it.  No specifics as to what I wasn't following, no motions filed, just a letter to my attorney.  Which she then had to forward on to me.  Which she then charged me fifty bucks for her to copy it, file it with the court, and send me a copy of it.  I was a little peeved.  I sent him very not very nice text asking him to be a man next time he has an issue and address me directly instead of being a little (not very nice word) and going behind my back and talking to my lawyer.  I was having a hard enough time supporting the kids without any support from him without me having to pay my lawyer to forward me a letter.  Apparently, he didn't like me using that word to describe him and what followed was one of the worst fights we've ever had.  We did not fight when we were married, and now I am used to dealing with a person who has decency and common sense.  I got frustrated when he wouldn't listen to me and said some things I probably shouldn't have said.  Not that I don't feel them and I don't regret saying them, but they really didn't help the situation.  Cory actually had to leave the room. 

Once we calmed down and were able to talk civilly again, he told me that he was upset he wasn't getting the visitation he was given in the divorce papers, and he was mad that I wouldn't let PVB see the kids.  At this point, I was under the assumption that they were still broken up.  He informed me that they had been back together for about six months and he had forwarded all of her compliance paperwork from her parole officer and drug court to my lawyer which she then charged me again to forward on and he wanted to make arrangements for her to see the kids.  I immediately told him that was not happening, but then after I had a chance to think about it for a few days and he threatened me with court again I decided that the judge probably wouldn't agree with me and I would get in trouble again.  Not to mention then I would have to pay my lawyer AGAIN.  So we set up the dinner tonight to reintroduce her to the kids.  I would really love to say that there was some huge issue and she won't be seeing them again, but no such luck. 

They both seemed to do really well with the kids.  I think she is disgustingly trashy and I cringed every time she touched one of the kids, but they didn't seem to be too bothered by her.  She is very fun, she got up in the play place and was running around with Lexie.  She seemed ok around Phillip.  Not too comfortable, but it'll be awhile before they can take him for any visitation anyway.  I finally realized that yes, he may not be the most competent person for me to leave in charge of the kids I would rate him as a fairly mediocre babysitter but he loves them and I know he would never do anything to hurt them on purpose.  I know that sooner or later I'm going to have to give in and let them take her for a little while, and it'll be much cheaper for me to not have the courts involved.  So, they are taking her for about ten hours on Wednesday to do dinner and fireworks for the 4th.  I'm sure she'll survive, I'll just give her a REALLY good shower as soon as she gets home.   

Sunday, July 1, 2012

TBD: The Big Drop off

What is it about saying "drop off" that instantly makes me want to start quoting Finding Nemo?  Every time we talked about it for the few days leading up to it, I instantly quoted Marlin in my head.  It's enough to drive someone crazy. 

Anyway, I've been putting off blogging about the drop off because I wasn't quite ready to deal with it.  I was also debating whether or not to include the pictures of Lovely Ex greeting the kids on my blog.  I try really hard to keep my blog family friendly, and keep it where I wouldn't be embarrassed when my mom read it (Hi Mom!) and Lovely Ex bordered on pornographic when we dropped the kids off.  I know I'm not an exemplary model of modesty sometimes, but seriously, I've seen more of her then I would ever want to see of anyone.  And for someone who used to talk pretty nastily about people who were dressed the way she was dressed...  let's just say it was pretty unexpected. 

Cory didn't tell the kids they were going back to their mom until right before it was time to go meet her.  We've both had plenty of experience with Lexie and telling her things in advance and then having her ask us every fifteen minutes how much longer until (insert whatever she's looking forward to).  We didn't want to have to constantly be reminded all day that they would be going home soon.  We had a pretty low key day again.  Trying to take it easy because of Katelyn's arm.  We watched some movies.  We took some naps.  We dreaded having to go drop them off. 

About three hours before it was time to go drop them off, Mae Mae texted me and told me that her husband was having some pretty serious medical issues and she was going to meet him in the ER.  That is so scary to go through, I couldn't even imagine what was going through her head.  It complicated our plans, because she was going to watch my kids while we went to go drop off Cory's kids, but we totally understood that took priority.  We debated back and forth about whether I should just stay with the kids and Cory should go by himself or if we should try to find another babysitter.  I ended up calling my parents and seeing if they could watch them.  They agreed that Cory shouldn't go alone, and they watched the kids for us. 

I went to drop the kids off at my parent's house and came home to pick up Cory and the kids.  They were still eating dinner, and Cory was trying really hard to get them to finish so we could go.  About ten minutes after we were supposed to be there, Cory's phone rang and it wasn't Lovely Ex.  It was the police.  They said that they were there to keep the peace for a drop off that was supposed to happen at six, and they wanted to know how much longer we were going to be.  Apparently, Lovely Ex had called the police to come supervise the drop off.  Cory is pretty sure that was retaliation for him calling the cops on her.  I agree.  Either way, we had debated having them there anyway so we were glad to have them there.  He told the cops we were just finishing up getting everything together and would be on our way shortly.  He got off the phone and told the kids they needed to hurry up and eat because we were late.  They dawdled along.

Finally he told them that they needed to hurry because Mommy was waiting on them and we needed to go meet her.  Michael said "why?" and Cory told him it was time for them to go home to Mommy.  Both kids said "awwah" and Michael again said "why?!"  We told him it was time for them to go back to California.  Both kids whined again.  I think we both felt good that they weren't excited to leave, and both wanted to stay.  Michael said a few times "Never forget how much I'm going to miss you" and then on the way to drop them off Cory sang them their good night song.  Michael asked why he was singing it now and we told him that they wouldn't be there for night time, so we were doing it now.  Michael thought about that for a minute and then he said "If you are missing me at night time when I'm going to bed you can sing my song and think about me."  Cory told him he would.  It was very tender to see them already missing him and being aware of it. 

Cory decided to say goodbye to each of the kids individually at the house before we left to go meet Lovely Ex.  He wanted to be able to take his time and have their full attention while he was saying goodbye to them.  Both kids seemed really sad to say goodbye to him.  We finished saying goodbye and loaded up in the car.  We pulled in to the parking lot and saw Lovely Ex in her car and the police parked behind her in their car.  When we pulled in, both cops got out of the car and walked up to the back of Lovely Ex's car.  I was a little nervous, but they didn't do anything more than just stand there and observe. 

Then Lovely Ex got out of her car.  It was a windy day, and she wasn't wearing much of anything.  She had a dress on with a tiny little skirt that the wind instantly caught and flipped up in the air.  It was slightly funny for the first few minutes seeing her try to control her clothing and say hello to the kids while the cops and Cory tried to look everywhere but at her.  Then it was just sad.  When she crouched down to give Katelyn a hug she showed everything she had to the whole parking lot.  Cory took each of the kids over to her one at a time and stood there while she gave them a hug, and then came back to the car and we left.  We were glad to have it over with. 

We went back to my parents house and got the kids and sat around talking for a little while.  While we were there, Lovely Ex sent three texts and called once wanting to know where Katelyn's Loratab was that the doctor's had prescribed her for her arm.  We had (partially on purpose) forgotten to give it to her.  We had quite the debate over what to do with the Loratab.  We wanted Katelyn to have it in case she needed it for the pain, but she hadn't needed it at all in the two days she was with us.  Also, Lovely Ex has issues with giving the kids medication.  She gives them mexican antibiotics every time they cough or sneeze.  We knew if she had the Loratab she would give it to Katelyn whether she needed it or not, and that can be pretty dangerous for how small she is.  But, we also knew the judge would not look favorably on us refusing to give it to her when there was a chance that she might need it so we went back home and got it and took it to her at Applebees where she and the kids were having dinner.  Cory said when he took it in to give it to her Katelyn was playing and laughing and didn't seem to have any pain at all.  I really hope she doesn't give it to her just because, but I'm pretty sure she will.

Cory and I both struggled that night.  It was very hard coming home without them.  Cory made it as far as the table in the kitchen where he saw Katelyn's milk and the last of her dinner sitting there.  I made it as far as Lexie's room where I broke down while I was singing to her looking at the kids empty beds.  It's so hard every time we have to say goodbye to them, especially when we have no idea how long it's going to be before we can see them again.  My biggest prayers right now are that the judge can provide some relief in his judgement so either we can have enough money to get them out here regularly or she has to begin providing transportation to get them out here for the visitations we are supposed to have.  In a perfect world, we'd get both, but I think we'd settle for either one or the other as long as it means it's not going to be another year and a half before we see them.

We have been taking it easy since the kids went home, getting the house back in order and enjoying just being our little family.  It'll be really hard to go back to work and back to normal life tomorrow.  I am really not looking forward to it, but we'll make it through.  Hopefully it's not too long before we can have the kids back out here again.